Category Archives: Construction

Learning to Say “NO”

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There is an issue that is important to understand for us to have more peaceful relationships, the fear of saying “NO”. This fear is born of the need of keeping everything as it is because we think it is the only way to live and interact with people around us. Over time, some of us have learned to please people we interact with (friends, family, colleagues, etc.), we feel that everything is easier when we perceive that, apparently, everyone is satisfied with our actions, and we leave aside what we really want, and need, in order to see others smiling, sometimes with the desire to be good children, parents, friends, colleagues, etc., because it is the only way we have related to people and we are used to that.

Sometimes we avoid the word “NO”, even though we feel it is necessary, because we assume people will think or say something specific about us, and we fear how the consequence can impact our image. It is important that we remember that it is impossible to please everyone, even within our family nucleus we can find people who disapprove our actions, no matter how kind they may seem to us, it is here that we perceive the importance of being more authentic, at least, this way we relate to people who authentically have more affinity with us (click here to read about self-knowledge and sublimation)..

Saying “NO” can be as healthy as saying “YES”, for this, it is necessary that we know ourselves as well as possible and transmit that in the most assertive way possible to the people we relate with. Let’s see some cases to understand the reasons behind the answers we give in the situation we find ourselves in:

  1. Case 1: If we say “NO”, do we feel bad for the reaction that others may have or because we really want to say “YES”? If the answer is due to the reaction of others, it is important that we question the reasons why we don’t really want to do what they ask from us, because we find answers within ourselves that lead us to make more assertive and authentic decisions, because we need to focus on what brings us peace independent of the external.

  2. Case 2: Are our decisions made because of the dependence we have for someone? In some moments of our life we can feel obliged to do things in exchange for something material or emotional. Sometimes, when we feel dependent on something or someone, we become submissive to the power of the other, therefore losing our identity and the respect that we have for ourselves. It is essential to evaluate if our actions come from our desire or from our need to fulfill certain obligations that have been created by the dependency.

Saying “NO” is essential in some cases for us to understand what we are creating in our lives, from reflection, and for starting our path of constructing peace through recognizing what our hearts needs for its purpose.

Rescuing our identity is the best way to tell ourselves that we accept ourselves and that we are willing to flow with everything we are, even if it implies the disapproval of the people we have as a priority in our lives, because, only then, we can create space for the true relationships that our heart desires to manifest (click here to read about constructivity of relationships).

Love,
Ángel

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Conscious Humanity: Respecting Differences

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It is essential to integrate perspectives that allow us to construct more consciously what we really want as society. When we decided to get closer, respecting the differences of personal beliefs, we managed to build new situations that allow us to expand our perception of the world, since each of us has a different perception according to what we live.

At this moment we have the opportunity to understand that the more we focus constructively and integratively on differences, the more we contribute to build justice and inclusion. We all have the right to have the knowledge that we are 100% responsible for what we decide to live, it is up to us to focus our energy to build what we want (it never depends on the external, it is our own will).

These initiatives, I’ve applied in my life, have been useful to expand my perception of the world and to construct more respectful and integral relationships:

  1. LISTENING: We’re used to hearing (perceiving sound), but listening needs practice, because, for doing that, we need to understand that not everything we know is as it seems, that our reality is not the reality that everyone experiences. Only this way we can perceive the information and integrate it into the situation by putting it into perspective and, from there, decide if what we have to say really constructs and if it needs to be really expressed. Learning to listen involves avoiding automatic responses or advice that comes from our conviction to feel superior than others some way.

  2. EXPRESSING ASSERTIVELY: the assertive expression includes coherence, transparency and neutrality. To practice it we need to set aside judgments, because they’re not the absolute truth, but a perception of reality according to our experience; knowing what we want to express and what impact we want to cause with it, and acting according to what we want to harvest in our lives.

  3. INTEGRATING: assuming an integrative stance when interacting with the world, we can realize something that can be useful for what we want to build and that we haven’t perceived. A phrase, a video, a book, etc., can be the key to open a world of possibilities in our life. Starting from the basis that we can learn from everyone and everything, our position makes us respect and accept differences.

Respecting differences doesn’t mean that we have to learn to live all the time with everyone next to us, but we need to learn to live together as society in order to harvest the respect we demand from others. Are we really respectful to demand respect? (click here to read the text about respect)

Love,
Ángel

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Special Message For Future and Present Parents

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The way we decide to educate our children, directly impacts our home, our family, our neighborhood, our city, our country and our planet, so, in order to choose more consciously, let’s answer this question: How do we want our planet to be? If the answer is that we want a world of peace, transparency, respect and coherence, this text serves to contribute to this construction.

We all have something in common, we are all children (click here to read about being more conscious children to harmonize our home), and we have learned to be the most appropriate children for the family we grew up in, or the most inappropriate, depending of the current belief system. From my own experience I can say that, during my growth, many times I agreed, and many others disagreed, with what I perceived and what my family transmitted to me, I got to distance myself from them to feel free until I felt ready to integrate myself again with a more integral vision of myself on the planet where I am, and thanks to that my family relationships have been transformed. And it is from this experience that I transmit this special message to the people who already have children or who want to have them.

As children we are programmed to observe and learn from what surrounds us in order to adapt to the place where we were born, sometimes we perceive incoherence and, when we don’t receive answers about the reasons why they allow us, or forbid us, to do certain things, we decided to experiment on our own, for better understanding what is behind the decision of the people around us. Here, I explain some points that I consider essential to educate more conscious children through example and coherence (click here to read about conscious parents):

  1. RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS: For our children to learn to feel themselves worth it, and to relate in a respectful and authentic way, they need to perceive us being authentic, establishing priorities that construct what we want in life and respecting everyone and everything around us (click here to read about respect and click here to read about boundaries). Let’s focus more on our personal construction and how to channel it to impact constructively and avoid positive or negative judgment of what others think, feel, do or say.

  2. TRANSPARENT COMMUNICATION: Let’s perceive how many lies (including white ones) we say per day and work to avoid them, when we transparently communicate who we are and what we want, in a coherent and respectful way, we build an environment in which truth is a habit and our children also perceive it (click here to read about transparency).
  3. COHERENCE: This is the most important point, because we only achieve coherence when we align feeling, thought, word and action. It is a process of self-observation that requires learning about us to act more consciously (click here to read about our coherence).

Working on our own coherence allows us to build the best example for our children and for all people who love and admire us. Let’s be conscious of the impact we cause and assume responsibility for being, at all times, the best example we can, an example that doesn’t even need to be explained.

Love,
Ángel

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6 Indicators of Presence and Gratitude

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To get in touch with new ways of perceiving the world, we need to be more aware of our own processes and how they influence our interaction with the environment. In this process the mind is essential, because, as a present ally, it can profoundly transform what we consider an inevitable fact and, connected to the heart, teaches us to be grateful for everything that exists (click here to read about elevating our experience).

Bringing the mind to the present (click here to read about present mind) is one of the best strategies to perceive that the miracle of life is in the small details, a smile, a hug, a joke, the sun coming in through the window, a tea in good company, a landscape of concrete or nature that we have every day in front of us, in short, everything that seems the same and routine begins to be perceived as unique and wonderful, we can only perceive the unicity of each moment when we allow ourselves to broaden our perception.

Here we have 6 indicators that show us that we are more present and grateful.

  1. We pay attention to the smallest details
  2. We use our senses more intensely to connect with everything and everyone
  3. We integrate better what we feel to what we live
  4. We perceive the uniqueness of each moment
  5. We learn more about the situations we’re living and the people we’re communicating with
  6. We transform ourselves constantly aligned to our purpose and context.

Choosing to live life from gratitude and infinite learning we connect with other angles of the same reality and we get to recognize magic in the now. We can choose to perceive every moment as a miracle.

Love,
Ángel

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Deciding by Conviction

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In this last week, I’ve been present in situations in which I’ve perceived that we need to connect with what we are, and how we are, in the current moment, and understand it as a personal result of our own decisions. What would happen if at this moment appears someone who knows our deepest desires and offers us the perfect idea to make them come true? Would we accept anyway, or would we evaluate if the idea is aligned to our values, principles and heart (click here to read about connecting to our hearts)? Would we reflect on the Real benefit that brings to the environment, or we convince ourselves, with our own mind, that, if it makes me happy makes the world happy?

We are at a time when we have much more information available about what we need and, therefore, we can decide more consciously (click here to read about constructing consciously). It is also essential that we feel ourselves, because, within, we can find answers that only we are able to feel inside, that nobody else can perceive. Let’s think about a moment when we had to decide about something and, thinking about accepting it, everything felt chaotic within, our body shouted “NOOO” and our mind and desires shouted “YEEEEEES”; this is our inside information and it is necessary that we consider it and integrate it, coherently, with external information, to decide accordingly (click here to read about coherence).

We can choose to make the appropriate decision for us within the environment we’re in, respecting our limits and the limits of others, respecting the environment and the laws of the place we live in. Remember that EVERYTHING, WHAT WE FEEL, THINK, SAY, AND DO, HAS AN INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL IMPACT, so, are we willing to make decisions that, constructively and sustainably, impact ourselves and everything around us?

Everything in life requires a construction, what works for some doesn’t work for others, that is why it is very important that we learn through our own experience. We can do it by applying what we learn from others, or by integrating the information we receive into what already works for ourselves. Let’s ask ourselves this: In the long term, what people tell us to do has a sustainable development and a positive impact on us, our family, society and the planet? To get to this answer we would need to know, transparently and integrally, the life of the person who applies it, and we don’t have that information, so, what if we begin by accepting who we are and where we are, recognizing what we have done in our own lives that has worked out and transform what is not into learning to create our own way of doing things (click here to read about transparency)?

This reflection comes from my feeling of unity, of what I live and what I perceive. I am convinced that by being more conscious and coherent, from within, we are able to express awareness and coherence in the planet we live in. We can choose, I choose to decide in a constructive, sustainable and coherent way for a more human society. By internalizing what we receive, we find the answers we need.

Love,
Ángel

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The Path Becomes Shorter When We Have Knowledge

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Impotence is something we have all experienced at some point in our lives, the question is, what have we done when we feel it? We always have options, sometimes we have frozen in not knowing what to do, but others, maybe, we’ve decided to learn a little more about the situation to understand how to do something different, it can be from something simple like opening a bottle to something more complex like personal relationships, the truth is that every time we acquire more knowledge, and integrate it into our reality, the shorter the path to achieve our purpose is.

To construct a culture that values the importance of knowledge and experience, we need to understand that all “miraculous” situations (that promise money, healing, etc.) without changing habits, and in a “comfortable” and fast manner, are a long-term deception, It may be that what is desired is apparently achieved, but may become a problem again over time. If today we have a certain physical, economic or relationship condition, it is because our own decisions have led us to them, if we solve everything magically and continue with the same mentality, the same level of knowledge and taking the same type of decisions is most likely that these conditions appear again, and do so to teach us to understand that knowledge is essential for our development and to evaluate the way we behave, we can consider it correct but life shows us the opposite.

To understand and integrate the idea of acquiring knowledge and apply it to our experience, let’s see some indicators that shows we are learning to improve our own processes through that learning:

  1. FLOW STATE: We remain in this state while we do everything with our hearts, every situation that is presented, we can use it as a lesson to transform what we are doing, adjusting the course or learning something that allows us to expand our activities. For example, in the work environment, flowing in our tasks, we can find new tools to improve the process and transmit them to our colleagues. In relationships, a situation or conversation can lead to a better understanding of the other person in order to improve the dynamics of our couple’s life. It is always possible to learn, we just need to want to (click here to read about connection to the heart).

  2. INTEGRATION: If we perceive with attention, there is a lot of information that comes to us during the day, and a large part of it can be very valuable for our own processes, but for this it needs to be integrated. Whenever we find information, whatever the source or subject, we can ask ourselves how that fits into what we are living in the present moment. As we connect more to the information we receive, and exercise the integration, we streamline our processes and we are able to transmit our contributions more easily. We are all teachers and students (click here to read about Personal Empowerment).

Everything has its time, so the more present we are (click here to read about keeping the mind in the present) the easier it is to integrate what we need to construct, because it is all the time in what we live, in what we perceive, in what we create. The perfect moment is now, sometimes it will be about receiving and perceiving, sometimes about giving and taking action, everything is necessary, let’s keep our flow state, and gratitude, and feel the difference.

Love,
Ángel

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Life and Death: Another Perspective

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The definition of death is the end of life, but the definition of life, among others, is the existence after death. Independent of the belief that we have about life and death, it is our existence that keeps us alive, what we have transmitted to our parents, children, friends, companions, etc.

One day talking to a friend we came to the conclusion that his wife was still with him and his children, she had sown love, attention, respect and presence, and all this continues to bear fruit in who they are today, so she is still alive, she exists in their hearts and minds.

It is our decision what we want to build in our lives and transmit to others, as it can be something that people continue to transmit as destructive (what goes against life, respect, transparency, peace), it can also be constructive (what is in favor of life, respect, transparency, peace). When we want to transmit something that construct ourselves as humanity we can follow these actions:

  1. IMPROVING OUR COMMUNICATION: Listening better, silencing the mind, receiving information without judging it in order to be able to integrate it and respond in a coherent way with what we have listened to (if there really is something we can say that is appropriate), learning to use words and gestures we use to express ourselves better, being clear in the message we want to transmit, opening our mind in order to establish a clearer communication that encourages transparency. Remember that, for there to be transparency, we need to learn to listen and construct from it, because when people perceive ourselves as inflexible and authoritarian the dialogue goes to the side of the lie, whether to “avoid” conflicts (which can later be worse than they would be at the moment) or to get what we want (click here to read about transparency).

  2. RESPECTING AND ACCEPTING: The fact that something is appropriate for us doesn’t mean that it is for everyone. When we really know and accept what we feel, think, say and do, we learn that true respect is understanding that we all have the right to be different, and that It doesn’t make us better or worse, and we understand that it’s necessary to accept differences as a way to enrich human constructions. Assuming responsibility (click here to read about responsibility) for everything that depends on us (feelings, thoughts, words and actions) is the first step to build a more conscious humanity, we constantly influence (consciously or unconsciously) everything around us (click here to readarticle about respect).

  3. TRANSFORMING: To obtain different results it is necessary to transform what already exists in a creative way, to enhance what is useful at this moment to build peace (click here to read about building peace). Being aware that we are part of humanity and that we need to assume our responsibility as unique in the whole, we manage to build together, integrating better the available points of view (click here to read about building through consciousness).

Each seed that we sow has the potential to germinate, let’s be more aware of it and sow what we want to harvest, since in that way we are more focused on living, on existing.

Love,
Ángel

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Reflections on Relationships: Special Edition

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There is a very common issue when there is lack of self-knowledge. injustice, both in professional and in personal life. In the workplace is presented above all in the recognition from the personal perspective of every person, since what is perceived is the inequality of remuneration in relation to the effort of work, and what we call “bootlicking” in the USA. In personal life it can happen in our family, couple or friendships, it is also the perception that what we do is not enough for people, who increasingly demand more of ourselves and don’t recognize our “effort” (I put the word effort in quotation marks because that is what we do when we try to seek external approval, which is not necessary when we begin to guide ourselves through internal approval – click here to read the full article on Internal Approval in 3 steps).

Connected to the concept of injustice, generally, there is power over others. At work, in some cases, people who hold higher positions are people who use their personal power to manipulate everyone and everything around them, and that is one of the reasons to get to that position (besides the power they have due to knowledge and experience they may have), obviously if our desire is to exercise our personal power over ourselves we somehow don’t fit into a position that requires doing that, right? In other types of relationships we find people who want to have control over others and don’t let them be themselves (take care, those people may be ourselves), here we find grandparents, parents, children, brothers, couples, friends, who want everything done its own way and, when this is not done, they use fear as a manipulation tool to gain control.

Have we felt identified with any of these situations? If the answer is “YES”, let’s continue reading this special edition about reflections, so we can find an assertive way to get out of this situation and create new opportunities in our life based on personal decisions made by conviction (click here to read the article on decide by conviction).

WORKPLACE

How can we act in a more assertive way when facing situations we consider unfair in our workplace? The main issue in this situation is that we understand that it is our decision to be where we are, the reasons may be fears or convictions, but we are always the ones who decide to be where we are, and we usually have something to learn from there.

I’ve heard many people complaining about the injustice of people who hold important positions doing less than them but I have also noticed that many of those people who complain seem to work a lot, because sometimes they’re just not in the area which they have talent for, so, doing the same as the others require much more time and effort. Has this happened to you? We can easily perceive it when we do something that we don’t like, for example, I don’t like cooking alone, and when I do it I spend more time cooking something than the person who likes it, and also doesn’t end up as delicious, is like something is missing. This is what happens, we need to know ourselves better to work on something we have talent for and we can flow along with, that prevents us from perceiving the situation of the ascension of someone, who apparently works less, as an injustice.

Now, if after broadening our perspective, we still perceive that there is injustice, it is time to look for a place to work that is more compatible with our principles. It is important that we are sure about what we want to be able to set the boundaries within to look for the appropriate job in a company compatible with ourselves (click here to read the article about setting boundaries). We need to trust enough in ourselves to be able to accept what we deserve (click here to read about what we deserve), as well as understand our needs in all aspects of our lives, which can often be simpler than they seem and open possibilities for us to work in areas that would fit in a reality of extreme needs not so necessary (click here to read the article on identification of needs).

Here we have some perspectives that can contribute to our decision making regarding our work life:

  1. Do we feel that we have to work hard to achieve small things? Perceiving the moments in our own lives in which we feel that we do what we like and it allows us to flow, we realize that this is when we forget the time and energy we are dedicating to it. So, if we do something that doesn’t allow us to flow, that tires us and makes us feel that we have to make an effort to do it, we need to evaluate other possibilities to monetize what we do from our integrated personal talents. What is it that we find easy to do, and w]that we like doing, that contributes to the construction of a more integral humanity, and how can we monetize that in order to live where we are?

  2. Are the material needs we have really necessary? Many times we create in our reality needs that keep us prisoners to something that we don’t like in our work environment, when we perceive that we need less than what we thought, we are able to advance in our personal life, because we build with more calm and satisfaction our material life through our own talents.

In my 7 years of working life, I have learned that I can do everything that I set out to do, but that sometimes requires doing things that are not aligned with my values ​​and principles, so I’ve decided that I prefer to flow along with what I do more easily, that is why I write and assist people in their own processes, so I feel that I’m more consistent to myself and that I can connect more genuinely with everyone and everything around me. I have time for myself and for the things and people that are a priority in my life. Today I’m totally sure about the fact that I don’t need everything I wanted, and I appreciate what comes into my life to build what I really want from the heart, which is manifested in my present. What you do allows you to be in peace in every area of your life?

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

We can live in injustice in any kind of relationship, especially when we are unfair to ourselves (we don’t respect our principles, our tastes, our time and we prioritize satisfying others’) or when, due to fear of being alone, or being rejected, we create a character that is not necessary (whatever our nature, we can find compatible people to relate with).

There’s a lot of abuse of power and injustice in relationships, be it sexism or the idea that one of the parties must take control of the relationship, and the previous options only build relationships based on fear that end up in a routine, because the spontaneity and the transparency in the interactions are completely lost. If we need to assume or delegate power in any kind of relationship we should review our lack of acceptance, because, when we fully accept ourselves, we perceive the importance of personal empowerment (click here to read about personal empowerment), each one of us is unique and when we manage to integrate our personal power with that of other people we build solid foundation based on truth and transparency, a solid way to construct in a sustainable way (click here to read the article on constructive relationships).

We often go into relationships based on emotions that lead us to react, or to “act impulsively”, for this reason it is important to take it slow to get to know people and understand how they fit into our lives or if they are just present for teaching us something about ourselves that we haven’t perceived, and that we need to work on, in order to understand the situations we manifest in our lives, what happens to us (click here to read about knowledge).

Here are some perspectives that can contribute to our decision-making regarding our relationships:

  1. Do we feel that we don’t receive what we give? It is very common that we look for what we think we need on the outside, the thing is that outside we only find what we are inside. If people lie to us, let’s think to whom we lie (including our own selves), if people betray us, let’s ask ourselves who we have betrayed, if people don’t keep what they say, to whom we haven’t kept our word? We are used to prioritize some people and give them special treatment, and those people can show us, more easily, our actions and reactions with those we don’t consider a priority, the responsibility for what we feel, think and express is ours, we need to learn to decide with more awareness (click here to read about coherence).

  2. Do we induce the people we relate with to do what we want? We often create in our reality needs that keep us imprisoned to the idea of ​​power, so it is possible that we are attracting insecure people who are willing to seek our approval, by pleasing ourselves in everything we want (we must take special care with this in family relationships and when we raise children, because these attitudes can compromise their healthy development in the world). Using our power over others is to affirm that we’re not good enough to connect to people freely and allow them to give back what we give, because we perceive, consciously or unconsciously, that we usually give incoherence and lack of acceptance (click here to read about forgiveness).

For a long time I compared myself to other people and complained about my situation, I wanted people to know what I liked so they would please me in everything, but I realized that, despite having everything I thought I wanted, I wasn’t satisfied with anything, so I decided to work on myself by applying universal principles to my daily life, that assisted me in knowing myself better and understanding that only by increasing my personal power, by assuming responsibility for what I feel, think and express in a conscious way, I really feel more and more connected to myself and, consequently, calmer (click here to buy the eBook 7 Levels for Personal Empowerment). What do you do that allows you to be in peace?

Love,
Ángel

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Approving ourselves from within in 3 steps

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As I’ve progressed in my own process of personal empowerment, I’ve perceived that there’s a very sensitive issue in the way we relate to the world: External Approval. Some of us learned that our success in life depends on external approval, on what others think of our lives, our projects, our relationships, and we forget a little about our own internal approval because we don’t know enough about ourselves to understand our own desires and limits.

Somehow, as I mentioned in the article about the Self (click here to read the full article), we all live in a context and we need to align, at least, our actions to the laws of the place where we are, as we are part of a collective, and, besides that, sometimes we find social expectations that make us think that we need to be or act in a certain way to succeed, but as we saw in the article “What do we deserve?” (click here to read full article) success is the happy result of an act, it’s simply achieving the results that are most appropriate for ourselves, it doesn’t, necessarily, imply getting married, having mansions, businesses, cars, children, it is as simple as living our present in the most authentic way possible through integrity, approving ourselves totally.

In order to follow our real path connected to our essence, it is essential to know ourselves at our best, because we are all different, each one of us has a similar structure but the connections with events, and the reactions to them vary, from what we consider pleasant to what we consider uncomfortable, that’s why we need to avoid that fanaticism of following a referential (click here to read about fanatism), because only we can connect ourselves to the most appropriate way to build our own reality and for this we really need to approve ourselves from the inside. We can apply these 3 steps to do so:

  1. STRENGTHENING OUR INTERNAL CONNECTION: For us to achieve this, it is necessary to give ourselves a space in the day to be alone, some moments in silence to feel and understand ourselves better, others doing something that we like and that we can do by ourselves. By creating this space in our day, we begin to perceive new things within that broaden our perception and allow us to question ourselves about what is in our life that needs to leave to make way for our present from our hearts (click here to read about connecting to our hearts).

  2. PRIORITIZING WHAT BRINGS US TRANQUILITY: As we move forward in our time alone, we realize what brings us peace of mind, those moments in which we feel that everything flows, when we work, sing, write, draw, play, etc. When we begin to prioritize these actions it is easier to perceive, in our life, what takes us out of our center and doesn’t bring us peace of mind, so we can decide accordingly in order to maintain an environment in which we feel in harmony and we can attract people who are in that same frequency to construct with them (click here to read about neutrality).

  3. BUILDING FROM OUR ESSENCE: Being clear in what we enjoy, we can begin to integrate other actions, alone or with people, that have the purpose of bringing harmony to our life based on our talents and our essence. The more we approve ourselves from what brings us tranquility in all areas of our lives, the more connected we are with people who vibrate that harmony, thus improving our relationships from the inside out (click here to read about elevating our experience).

Let’s know what allows us to flow and let’s love it enough so that approving ourselves is our only option. When we approve we are expressing that we trust in ourselves and, thus, we can make the most appropriate decisions for our own life. Do we fully approve ourselves?

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Love,
Ángel

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We broke up, what now?

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A very common issue about relationships is the end itself, sometimes well defined, others not that much, but, at the end, they have in common the fact that they take us out from our comfort zone and makes us question ourselves about many things. But, what can we do when this happens in order to get used to the space left by the presence of the other? This is the subject today.

First of all, it is important that we have some time on our own to perceive, in an objective way, our relationship and the feelings we have had during our time together, since this can lead us to understand that we must make some adjustments in many aspects of our own selves, from deciding what we expect from a relationship to defining the main principles the relationship must have as the foundation, this is what takes us to decide, with more assertiveness, in which moment we can take the step into a new relationship.

After we find the reasons that have led us to our relationship, and the needs behind them, it is important to release what is no longer part of our construction, in many cases we expect to come back because we are not sure of what we want to construct, that is why it is so important that we learn to be clear and coherent to ourselves, so we can express our truth to others.

Finally, it is necessary to assume our responsability about everything that has happened, accept that, while we continue being the same, from our belief system and emotions, there is no way of keeping changes that please the other and that make us feel good in our own skin for long. We change from a deep necessity of being more aligned to our own moment, others may be an inspiration for our transformation, but we are the ones that decide when is time to do it, and if that lets us flow along with our own principles.

To finish, let’s see some steps that have turned out well for some people I know that have ended their relationships, and for me after breaking up a relationship of 9 years :

  1. Dedicating the time we would spend with the person to make something we enjoy doing by ourselves. In my case, writing has always been a moment of reconnection, that let me channel any emotion and even realize when I feel something I wasn’t conscious about before. Any activity we can use as a way of expressing ourselves can be useful for the process of gettin to know ourselves better.

  2. Allowing us to connect to different people from our friends and family to broaden our perspectives.

  3. Giving ourselves the time to do practically “NOTHING”, those moments without commitments in which we’re able to flow with our own company, open up ourselves to new possibilities.

  4. Defining what we want from a relationship is essential, since that allows us to make decisions out of conviction (click here to read about deciding by conviction) regarding the relationships we allow in our lives. In my case, in this moment I prioritize the freedom to be who I am, and to allow the others to be who they are, and the peace to build a relationship from integrity, transparency and respect, so I let my emotions flow to feel with my heart the purpose of each relationship (click here to read about connecting with the heart).

It is important to understand that the feeling we have constructed, for the person, remains, it always continues as a part of ourselves, but we simply know that we need to move forward transforming the limits of the relationship so we can continue our own work of self-knowledge and evolution (click here to read about sublimation of our mental, emotional, creative and sexual realities).

We always have the possibility of looking for different ways of relating to the world, we can choose living by being who we really are, with transparency and sincerity, and knowing people who choose this way too, since, this way, we can construct solid and enhancing foundation, in order to broaden authenticity in unity inside a society of integrity.

Love,
Ángel

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