Category Archives: Construction

Forgiveness Special Edition

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It is necessary to break some paradigms about forgiveness, in order to understand it better and integrate it to our lives in an easy and effective way. Because of it, this article is focused on the action of forgiving, by going through the definition, break of paradigm, resignification, integration and application of forgiveness, integrally, in our lives.

The word forgive is defined as ceasing to feel resentment against someone. Integrating this definition to our personal experience, it is common that we perceive forgiveness as a superior way of relating to people or situations that, from our perspective, have hurt us. Now we are ready to break the paradigm of forgiving.

When we uderstand that comparisons, judgement and faults are part of a model that needs to be transformed for us to learn to relate in a more transparent, authentic, respectful and responsible way, to construct and remodel, sustainably, our planet, it’s necessary to break the paradigm that fogiveness makes us superior and resignify it as the integration of the ideia that we are responsible for choosing if something, efectively, affects us or hurts us.

Normally, we feel hurt when a situation doesn’t go as expected, but, the same way we can blame others for what they say or do, we are also able to take responsibility for the expectation we have created for us to feel well, accepted, loved, etc, and for allowing others to enter and stay in our lives. If we analize a little deeper, feeling hurt comes from a need of control, from the desire of controlling our lives, and the people and situations in it. Let’s see this steps that lead us to connect to a side of our human nature that lets us flow with our hearts:

  1. Seeing life as a constant learning: when we go into each situation, with all our senses, we can perceive elements that can lead us to a broader understanding of who we are.
  2. Being grateful for every minute of our lives: we can choose to see our lives as a miracle, be able to breathe or do what we do can always be a motive of gratitude and every lesson too, painful as they may seem, show us that we are more than we think (click here to read about gratitude).
  3. Putting into practice the exercices to bring our minds to the present (click here to read the article about present mind), excercising the empowerment of beliefs (click here to read the article about beliefs) and accepting people and situations as they are.

INTEGRATING GUILT

Now we can approach guilt in order to understand how to integrate it in a way we can transform whatever has stopped being useful in our present.

Some of us has learnt to assume the reponsibility for other people well-being, from emotional to material. From this role many guilts emerge throughout our lives, since we try to please everyone to ensure harmony wherever we are and, if we feel we can’t, we blame ourselves for the consequences of our “faults”.

By definition, guilt is the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty, but, is everything that happens someone’s fault?, what if we ALL learn to assume our responsibility, in every issue, and look together for the way of doing the necessary adjustment, for the next time ALL of us being responsible for the “good” consequences of our acts? (click here to read about resposibility)

Let’s integrate the guilt to channel it as a personal responsibility, in which each of us, consciously, assume that our decisions (or lack thereof, which are also decisions) have an impact on everything and everyone around us and construct more assertive consequences from each situation.

RELEASING CONTROL

As mentioned before, it is common to feel hurt when situations don’t go as we expect, or people don’t act the way we want. But, if, sometimes, even ourselves don’t act the way we thought we would, or don’t say what we thought we would, how could we expect something from others? This is the starting point for releasing control.

Thinking we have control over others is an illusion. It emerges from the idea that we are superior, in some way, or that we have more capacity, whether we are parents, teachers, bosses, leaders, elders, partners, lovers, etc., and that we inspire respect. This control relationships are based on the idea that every person that depends on us, whether physically, materially or emotionally, can be controlled by us, and, actually, we are only able to see whatever confirms that idea, that is just the manifestation of other people’s fears, and has nothing to do with respect. But, Are we able to perceive that each person is deciding according to their own fears and the position they decide to assume? (click here to read about respect)

So, do we really have control over something? The answer is Yes, over our own selves through self-knowledge. When we decide to release external control to allow us feeling within ourselves, we get to understand what really motivates us to express ourselves and live in a certin way. Where does our love for control come from?, from our own insecurities? When we know ourselves from within, we gain confidence, are aware of what we can do, understand and respect our boundaries, and that shows us that external control is not what we think. If we are able to feel good with ourselves, live enjoying what we like and express ourselves in the most objective way possible, what do we want to control others for?

We can commit to having control over what we express, or don’t, how we nourish ourselves, the physical activity that we give to our bodies, to choose people with whom we feel most at ease, to create our environment and allow that what’s born from there flows, bringing learning and growth.

ACCEPTING THE TRUTH

Accepting the truth is what leads us to apply forgiveness in every area of our lives.

Accepting the truth requires a deep knowledge of our own selves. We all feel in a different way, express ourselves as a consequence of what we feel, integrated to a context, whether for, against it, or in a neutral way, and choose our path, althought, sometimes, we make decisions being incoherent to who we really are. What leads us to decide to go out with a comitted person?, or to work for a company that sells something we don’t buy?, or to stay away from our family in order to create another?, this kind of questions, answered frankly (without trying to create mental games that always makes us feel we are right), gives us a more objective vision of our own selves and what we want from our hearts.

When we assume the responsibility for what we express, feel and think, we connect to our truth, the one that shows to us that we are where we have taken ourselves, nobody is guilty, everything is just our responsibility. We allow contact to people, accept job offers, decide to keep certain things away and, now, we are just the result of every little decision we have made, so, do we want to continue where we are or not?. If the answer is “NO”, it is necessary to make decisions that lead us where we really want, in the most coherent way and accepting that not always what we have wanted is what is really aligned to our own truth.

Freeing ourselves from the fears and beliefs that have kept us away from everything that makes us flow and feel respected, we reconnect to ourselves to build a more coherent reality, more aligned to our true nature, the process may take time, but it is important that we dare to take the first step. It is necessary to connect to our inner voice, that voice that leads us to do what really integrates us, making us feel complete (click here to read about connecting to our heart)..

Let’s accept our truth and see the truth of everything and everyone blooming 🙂
ALIGNING OURSELVES TO OUR INNER VOICE

Our perspective about forgiveness expands itself when we understand that every single wound comes from expectations and needs, and that when we assume our responsibility, release control and accept the truth, we start living a reality in which we discover that the main reason for our wounds is the lack of personal connection, what leads us to construct a new way of relating, from self-respect (click here to read about building personal respect).

Our self is a powerful ally when we decide to integrate it as part of the integral being we are (click here to read the full article about integration of the self), but, while we try to “ignore” it, it continues being the opponent of our inner voice, the voice that compares us, either positively or negatively, to others, the voice that judge us, the voice that is afraid even taking chances, the voice that, when we question, is always giving us an answer that comes from our own preservation as separated individuals.

When we exercise focusing our Self to know ourselves better, our thoughts start getting used to talk about our own selves avoiding judgement, comparisson and guilt, at that moment we start feeling our inner voice, the one that accepts us the way we are and shows us the most appropriate way of constructing in every sigle moment of our lives. One super useful question to check the origin of each thought is: Is this only for my well-being or it also contributes to the well-being of everything and everyone? With time, our Self learns how to flow with our hearts and the inner voice starts aligning and focusing on what makes us flow, and we enjoy, that cause a coherent and constructive impact on ourselves and everything around (click here to read about identifying what is from the heart).

Listening to our inner voice is truly trusting ourselves, understanding that we are always in accompanied, that there are infinite ways of relating to ourselves, and to the world, and that we can always decide to flow along with our hearts (click here to read about transforming our humanity).

Love,
Ángel

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What Do We Deserve?

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Learning to follow our hearts (click here to read about connecting to our hearts) is one of the most effective ways for us to understand that we are worth it the way we truly are and that, if we decide to be integrated and complete in our present, that is the minimum we deserve to live, it is from here that we begin to prioritize, in a more appropriate way for us, the activities and people in our lives.

Some of our beliefs make us accept crumbs of life because we feel in some way that is what we give, this is why we need to learn more about ourselves and invest in the development of our human skills as a whole, from the way in which we relate to ourselves, as a basis, until the way we give the most appropriate to us in each moment we live. Let’s see situations that can be presented to us in which we can choose a more integral path for ourselves:

  1. Do we depend on people doing what we want them to do? It is more common than we think, it occurs mainly in power relationships in which we need to feel that we dominate the other person to feel safe. We need to learn to be self-sufficient and to know ourselves so well that we know what we can really do, and so understand what others can give too. We all have our talents and we can construct together, but not delegate responsibility for everything we want and need, each of us must play a part. This way, we have more constructive relationships and we leave emotional dependence aside to construct more integral relationships.

  2. Do we consider we do not receive what we give? Let’s check the reasons that lead us to give, because we often believe something is best for the other person without considering what the person experience. We can only really know what is most appropriate for us, let’s give more attention to what we can work on ourselves and listen more to others, avoiding our automatic answers.

  3. Do we say YES to satisfy others? life is made of moments, saying yes to everything without asking ourselves if that is what is really necessary for us to build what we want in our lives, is to say that we deserve whatever appears, let’s evaluate better and decide according to our own principles and projects, let’s respect ourselves (click here to read about learning to say “NO”).

  4. Are we interested in someone who is in a relationship? this case can happen, so, before we try to convince ourselves through our beliefs, or personal or other’s experiences, that it is right to get in the middle of a relationship, let’s think about how we would like our relationship to be and if what we are going to do we would like to experience, if we were the other person of the couple. Any action, or reaction, has its effect, so, even if we think we are immune, it is necessary to evaluate each step we want to take.

  5. Do we work because of love or needs? the fears that we lack resources, or that our talents are not paid if we use them by ourselves (or that will take a long time for giving us return), or the need to become millionaires because we think that we will be happy, or because we think that only money leads to success, these are some of the reasons that can keep us in a life ruled by money that doesn’t even make us feel satisfied, but at least it makes us feel material security. Let’s question our priorities in life, do we work in a place that respects people, the environment, that has principles aligned to ours as humans? What would we do if we had one last day of life, we would go to work in that company? Here we need to integrate everything with what we flow and put it into the context we find ourselves in. Remember that success is the happy result of an act, therefore, to walk over ourselves, our principles and others (however well mentally justified it may seem), is not succeeding, let’s evaluate our actions in a more conscious way.

We deserve an integral present, aligned to our principles and to the respect and love we have for ourselves, so let’s evaluate the options that are presented to us, all that makes us doubt let’s evaluate it even better, let’s trust more in ourselves, and in our capacities, and we will see a new reality opening up before us (click here to read about how to decide by conviction).

Love,
Ángel

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Understanding Polarities as Personal Experiences

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On this planet we experience many things, among them polarities. We perceive different people and situations that make us think we can not be one way or another, but, is it serious or just a story we tell for us to feel better with ourselves in the social context we’re in that indicates a specific path?

In order to continue, it is necessary to answer the following questions to ourselves:

  1. Are we as good or bad as we think?
  2. Have we ever wished evil or good to someone?
  3. Have we ever been at times lazy or hard working?
  4. Have we ever felt sad or happy?

When we have the answer to those questions, we perceive that, along our lives, we have used polarities as resources, what makes us humans, since being good or bad is just a point of view from the context we live in, and, understanding this, is essential to adjust our personality to each moment of our lives.

Between each polarity we can have different degrees, now a little more, then a little less, and sometimes we even get to the extremes. Sometimes we insist on saying we are a certain way, but, actually, since birth we have transformed, to some degree, each of the existing polarities, for us to adapt ourselves to the environment in which we live in, the most harmonious way possible. We may have passed from moments of more smiles to more serious ones, from vices to abstinence, from limited relationships to free ones, from eating anything from hunger to being rigid with nutrition, etc.

Every moment of our lives has a change, either by action or reaction, and depends on us to recognize them so we can use it in a more assertive way. For example, if every time someone doesn’t do what we want, our reaction is to scream, when we realize that anger exists within us, we can look for a different way of channeling it, in this case we can reflect on why we have this expectation and look for an different way of doing things next time.

When we understand that is up to us to adjust the degree of polarity in every moment of our lives, we perceive that transformation is constant and that everyone of us can learn how to do it in a more conscious and constructive way, understanding what is behind every reaction.

We use the resources we have according to our cultural and family context, let’s be more comprehensive and share other perspectives, since only each one of us can connect to the appropriate measure of polarities in our own lives, by following our hearts, through integrity (click here to read about our connection to our hearts).

Let us remember that when we tend to one polarity we are feeding the other extreme, there is one because of the other to create harmony, and that, when we tend towards neutrality, the construction is more solid, because energy integrates and potentiates itself through the state flow.

Love,
Ángel

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Connecting Ourselves To Our Hearts

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In the most recent article we’ve learned about how to sublimate our experience through our mental, creative, sexual and emotional worlds (click here to read about sublimation), and these issues are totally connected to our personal connection to our hearts.

Our heart is our guide, whenever we live in calm, we do what brings us peace, we concentrate on our talents and we remain in our own flow state, we feel naturally aligned to life itself. The moment our minds align to our true nature and desire, the ones that respects our own limits and dreams through the calm of our interactions, we live a more coherent life, because it is the moment of great satisfaction that exists as a consequence of the total acceptance of who we are. To learn through love it is necessary that we connect to our hearts and continue to put all our intention into it (thought, feeling and expression).

To connect to our hearts, it is important that we work on our own coherence to reach our personal self-sufficiency. Personal coherence is the consequence of a conscious evaluation of our heart’s desire, of what we really enjoy doing, to be able to integrate it into our present and our context, and to build solid foundations for our development in all areas of our life. Every moment and every step taken with more awareness and certainty, strengthens ourselves from the inside out, making our personal power to enhance, making us self-sufficient, through our own talent, and contributive to connect to other people’s talents in order to build a conscious and sustainable society.

Understanding that our reality lived from the heart is the appropriate measure between receptivity and activity in all areas of our life, we can ask ourselves the following questions to know ourselves a bit better and act accordingly:

  1. With what types of beings do we flow? With young people, with dogs, with plants, with children, with microscopic beings, with our family, with our couple, with our friends, etc. There are many options that we can consider to understand a little more about what we bring in our hearts as our main talent.

  2. What are the activities which we flow most during the day with? There are many activities we may flow with such as cooking, singing, cleaning, caring, writing, reading, traveling, etc. It is important that we really know what is that we really flow doing, those activities in which we lose the notion of time because we are totally connected to them, especially those integrated with the types of beings we flow the most with.

  3. What could we do to generate income and allow ourselves to flow? Here we need to integrate everything with what we flow and put it in the context in which we find ourselves. For example, if we flow more with children and making music we can start a music project for children in the park of our neighborhood, which according to our own experience can be expanded or remain where it was established. Remember that everything that makes us flow can be remunerated, because it is a service that we are providing through our talent, our passion and our investment of resources to strengthen them.

Our hearts only takes ourselves along the paths we know at all levels, where we are more aware of the terrain on which we tread, then whenever we have an important decision we can breathe deeply and think, calmly, about each of the options we have, the one that generates more peace of mind is the one we are prepared to face with all the consequences it may generate. Remember that even if we don’t know the laws, they apply at all times, then let’s look at the consequences that our reactions have generated throughout life (in the area of relationships with our partners, friends, family, colleagues, students, etc) and let’s know more about the laws of the place where we live, so we will make increasingly assertive and constructive decisions for ourselves.

Love,

Ángel

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Sublimation of Our Experience: Special Edition

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Through our personal experience, it is perceivable that we can build sublime feelings about things that seem simple and to which we normally don’t give much importance, it is a matter of living the moment fully and expanding our consciousness about ourselves. This is called SUBLIMATION, which, according to the dictionary definition, is to convert (something inferior) into something of higher worth, elevate it to a higher degree.

During our lives, almost always unconsciously, we have sublimated several things, some of them destructive, connecting them with the way we felt emotionally and mentally at a certain moment, and we have also related aspects, which can be constructive for us, with negative moments on an emotional and mental level. When we start to realize that, we perceive the origin of many of our vices to food, to cigarettes, to emotions, to games, to people, to sex, to drugs, to drinking, etc., and we discover that we can consciously connect to more constructive habits through the feeling of love to ourselves.

Each action brings consequences, whether in short or long term, that is why it is important that we begin to choose more consciously and assertively the decisions we want to make to impact our lives, our health, energy levels, relationships with ourselves and with others, etc., constructively. For this reason, it is essential to know simple ways to sublimate diverse areas of our lives from the smallest details.

The reflection is: What have we sublimated that is destructive for us? Now that we have the answer, let’s read about the sublimation of our mental, creative, sexual, emotional and sentimental world, in this same article that is a special edition, focused on the expansion of consiousness, the broadening of perspective about what we can call invisible and sensitive world (ethereal?).

1. SUBLIMATION OF OUR MENTAL REALITY: Foundation of our relationships

The reality that exists in our mind, the one we nurture, is the way in which we live our own experience. We have several options and we perceive only the things we pay attention to, because it is what most of the time is being communicated to us, since we connect and identify with it. So if we decide to see everything as an adversity or a challenge, our lives show that to us, in everything we do, when we decide to see everything as learning we live our lives as an infinite experience of knowledge. It is, for this reason, that it is so important to verify the reality we are nurturing in our minds.

Recognizing how our mind influences the way we experience our present, we can follow simple steps to sublimate our mental reality constructively and in harmony with everyone and everything around us.

  1. Let’s ask ourselves: What thoughts do we have during the day that generate anxiety, stress, sadness, on ourselves? Which daily situations intensify those thoughts and emotions? Example: if we think about the country situation, we feel insecure, this is intensified when we watch the news and talk to people about it.

  2. With the destructive thoughts and emotions identified, we can work on them by transforming them into constructive actions that empower us. Example: we are looking for ways to reduce unnecessary needs (click here to see a step by step to assess our needs), to live with what is necessary, to save what we have now, to identify our talents to work contributing to the construction of more constructive, coherent and transparent models, wherever we are, this builds our self-confidence up.

  3. Let’s identify the thoughts and situations in our day that bring us tranquility and make us feel confidence about ourselves. Example: When we focus on doing something for which we are talented, when we spend time with ourselves, with our children, with animals, with people, with nature, etc.

  4. Let’s focus our energy on intention (thoughts, feelings, expression) in what makes us feel connected to ourselves and the world. Let’s learn something new about ourselves and the ways we have a more constructive impact from home.

The reflection is: How much time do we dedicate per day to sublimate what is constructive for us?

2. SUBLIMATION OF OUR CREATIVITY: Flow state

When we nourish an empowering reality, that reconnects ourselves with our trust within on ourselves and on our lives, we start integrating inner and outer information we receive in a more authentic way for expressing it, by questioning ourselves more about what comes to us, because we realize that we all are different and, at the same time, make all part of the collective reality that exists.

Now that we own a more constructive mental reality, and based on what is most appropriate for ourselves from our own experience, we are able to integrate some steps to increase our personal connection and let our creativity to flow, in every area of our lives.

  • Hydration: Are we conscious about our bodies’ quality of hydration? Example: the water we consume must have essential minerals to hydrate ourselves, so we can mineralize water with marine salt and a little baking soda, and solarize it, for me the result has been great, my body works better and ask for less liquids during the day. Let’s make researches and try them with our own bodies.

  • Nutrition: Do we eat to feed or nourishing ourselves? (Click here for reading full article about expanding our nutritional consciousness). Example: when we eat thinking just about balancing carbohydrates and proteins, we are ignoring minerals and vitamins, that are essential for the proper functionality of our bodies. I have stopped eating meat and dairy because I’ve realized that my intestine absorbs functional nutrients better and I need to eat less to feel more energized and healthy (click here to read about micronutrients and cell regeneration).

  • Breathing: Do we know the quality of our breathing? Example: our breathing gets shorter and we only use a part of our lung capacity to oxygenate our bodies. I’ve integrated a deep diafragmatic breathing during the day and I’ve felt more connected and at peace.

  • Cell regeneration: Do we sleep enough and give our bodies what they really need? Example: our bodies need certain time for regenerating and regulating themselves during sleep time, that is why it is so important to know how long we need to sleep in order to wake up energized. As I improve my nutrition, I realize that my body needs less time when I eat only what is necessary (click here for reading full article about cell regeneration).

By giving attention to our energetic levels, in an integrated way, we allow our creativity to easily flow at any present time, we get to connect to our flow state.

The reflection is: Do we really investigate about the processes that allow us to expand our personal consciousness?

3. SUBLIMATION OF OUR SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: Potentiating love

Sexual energy is also creative energy that, when sublimated in a constructive way, connects ourselves to our essence through love. Our sexual energy is connected to attraction processes in our own perceptions, that are able to strengthen connections through our emotional, mental and/or physical world. As we read in sublimation of our mental reality, we only perceive the things we pay attention to, so, as we know ourselves better, through our own experiences, we have the option of expanding our own personal consciousness, in order to learn to connet to our own personal signs, and, that way, in a more assertive way to the world.

By recognizing how our emotions, thoughts and perceptions influence the way we experience our sexual energy, we can follow 3 simple steps to sublimate it in a constructive way and in harmony with everything and everyone around us.

  • Let’s ask ourselves: What motives lead us to live our sexuality as we have decided to experiences it? What do we feel and think after a sexual act or an orgasm? Example: my motive to iniciate my sexual life was low self-esteem, I always thought that sex was a way of controlling my partner to have him by my side. While I had that thought it was common for me to feel in pain and empty, as if I lacked something I could not find outside myself, I often felt tired, as if I had no energy, but I thought that was normal.

  • Having our destructive thoughts, and emotions, identified, we can work on them by transforming them into constructive actions that empower ourselves. Example: By doing my own reasearch I realize that it wasn’t normal to feel the way I felt, so I started reading about diverse issues and feeling more my own self every moment, the consciousness about my own seual energy expanded itself and now I perceive that it not only a matter of my emotional, physical and mental worlds, but it is also about my sentimental world and the emotional, physical, mental and sentimental worlds of the person I allow myself to establish a relationship in that level.

  • Let’s focus our energy on our present and learn something new about ourselves and the ways of having a more constructive impact on our own relationships through our personal interaction integrated to our inner signs.

Today’s reflection is: Do we focus our sexual energy by personal convictions or for pleasing others?

4. SUBLIMATION OF OUR EMOTIONS: Constructing feelings

Emotions are reactive and unconscious energy in motion, arised from needs and beliefs that we have assumed as ours throughout our lives. We somatize them in the body and identify with them to the point where we think it is the language of our hearts. Emotions make us react according to what we have integrated, we go from tears to laughter, from affection to screaming, and vice versa. Feelings are active and conscious energy in motion, arised from needs and beliefs that are built from what is in our hearts, that which we flow in harmony with our environment from what we feel. We feel them in the body as a state of peace and coherence with our essence. We can act from our feelings, because our understanding of each situation expands according to our experience and the way we think, making us more assertive in our expression.

Knowing the emotions and feelings, we can follow 4 simple steps to sublimate our emotions constructively and in harmony with our essence and our hearts.

  • Let’s ask ourselves: What thoughts do we have during the day that generate any negative or positive emotion? What daily situations intensify those thoughts and those emotions? Examples: as an example of positive thought and emotion, if we think that we are going out with someone we like, we feel like little butterflies in the belly and when they call us, thought and emotion intensify themselves. As an example of thought and negative emotion, if we think that someone is lying to us we feel the emotion in some part of the body manifesting impotence and when the person tells us something that we know, or think, is a lie, thought and emotion intensify themselves.

  • How do we react when we feel those emotions in our bodies? Examples: for the first case the reaction may be to smile and get nervous, for the second it may be to shout and face the person.

  • How could we work the emotion and act more assertively? Examples: to work the emotion we need deep diaphragmatic breathing until we feel calm. To act more assertively in the positive example smiling is still assertive, because it also feels in the voice, and to continue it is important that we ask ourselves if the person with whom we are going to go out is really someone with whom we want to build something together based in the reality of what the person is and what we are. To act more assertively, in the negative example, once the emotion is worked out, let’s think if we have been sincere, with ourselves and with others, and ask ourselves why we keep that person in our lives.

  • Evaluate what we have allowed, because emotions take us to places and people so that we learn something that we did not want to learn through self-reflection. Understanding what we want from our hearts, it is the feeling of harmony with ourselves that guides us into our own path.

The reflection is: What do we have to learn about ourselves through the situations we live? (click here to learn exercise of emotional awareness)

Love,
Ángel

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Conscious Love: 3 habits to connect to each other

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Now that we understand the importance of harmony between parents (click here to read about conscious parents) and children (click here to read about conscious children) we can connect, in a more assertive way, with what is really necessary to build our relationships.

It’s important to begin with the principle of responsibility. We start a relationship because we decide so, the other is there to teach us, through love, what we haven’t recognized (beliefs, needs, emotions) and, yet, we need to empower and resignify in order to connect to our inner peace.

Having the present points clear we are able to develop new habits that allow us to learn, in a peaceful way, through our relationships.

  1. Giving and Receiving: the first point is to identify what we expect from the other person and what we are willing to give. If we expect something we’re not willing to give, there is something we need to work on within us, whether by allowing the transparency, and letting things happen as a part of an agreement, or finding motives for us to connect to fidelity within ourselves, empowering limiting beliefs we have about compromise.
  2. Communication: in order to keep a healthy relationship, it is important to know what we want and feel free to express everything in an assertive way. We must remember that the other is there for us to know ourselves better, therefore the approach must always be from our personal perspective. Sharing, recognizing and respecting boundaries are the keys to build a solid foundation of respect (click here to read about boundaries and respect).
  3. Freedom: one of the most important aspects of paradigm shift in relationships is freedom of being our own selves. We must allow the real expression of each other, connect to ourselves and have the opportunity of deciding, easily, where we go, it may be through other paths. This is possible when we learn to, truly, love ourselves and, that way, we allow the entrance to our lives of people that resonate with that inner love and project themselves in a more aligned way to our life purpose.

Love is giving, receiving, cexpressing, respecting and being free to decide. Let’s avoid using tags to clip people’s wings, instead, we can use them to potentiate our intention of uniting to someone with the purpose of constructing together, let’s honor our feelings, thoughts, and expression with our love.

Love,
Ángel

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Setting Boundaries: how to build personal respect

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As we expand our personal awareness we increase our connection with who we really are (click here to read about transmutation of the being) and by getting new habits we empower our roots, believes and needs, this way we are able to access a part of us that motivates us to exercise respect (click here to read about respect).

Many people have transmitted that everything comes from within and it is really as simple as that. When we want to be respected it is very important that we know how to respect, from the heart. But, how do we know if we are respecting or not, if we don’t know our own personal boundaries and others’ (click here to reflect on respect)? Here self knowledge, self confidence, respect and transparent communication have an important role, since only our own selves are able to know what we really want, like and need, and when that is aligned to respect and constructivity, and that way is communicated, it is really from the heart.

Following these steps we can be more assertive when setting our own personal boudaries from the heart:

  1. Empowering beliefs: we have beliefs that leads us to a lack of self respect. For example “if we say “NO” we stay alone” or “saying always “YES” is necessary for being a good person”. These are beliefs, when we open up totally without setting any boundaries we hurt ourselves and set an example to everyone around us, that’s why it is very important to observe the reason why we’re not building what we desire (click here to read about empowering beliefs).
  2. Inner connection, our desire: getting in touch with who we really are helps us design our lives and build the boundaries necessary for our development. If we want a job where we can have a flexible schedule we can find it, so we must send our CV to the companies that offer this benefit or create our own business (this would be a limit that helps us build what we want). REMEMBER THAT WHAT WE WANT FROM HEART IS ALWAYS CONNECTED TO TRANSPARENCY, RESPECT AND CONSTRUCTIVITY (click here to read about recognizing what is from the heart).
  3. Clear Boundaries: when we decide what we want in our personal, professional or loving lives, we can set clear boundaries that bring the results that we want. These boundaries must be aligned to the heart, that is, being detached and understanding the other’s freedom of being, so that we can build assertively.
  4. Comunication and application: to conclude the process it is important that we communicate our reality to the parties involved and apply what we desire. If we desire a relationship full of fidelity, loyalt, respect and freedom of being who we are, we must act coherently with that desire, work on ourselves what we want so we can offer it too.

This is an important cycle to connect in a more loving level to the world, making a habit of it we feel that our relationships transform themselves and get more peaceful.

After two years of working at an office, I realized that my desire is being with people and help them to be the best version of themselves and having time during the day to take care of myself, the boundary I set over time was “working where I can help people and take care of myself”. That, totall, changes my life. What about you? Have you ever set a boundary that changes your life?

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Parents: 6 steps to have an assertive relationship with our children

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For relationships to be constructive, they need investment of time and commitment from people involved in it, regardless of purpose or nature. Parents, siblings, uncles, grandparent, grandchildren, cousins, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mates, clients, companies, etc., can improve our life by observing the way we relate to everyone and everything and assessing the constructivity of our interactions (click here to read about constructive relationships).

When we put ourselves in people’s shoes we can have a wider and more objective perspective of what’s happening, since we can go beyond the titles that we have and often lead us to act from what we think that tag represent, but we are more than that. When we put ourselves in our parent’s shoes, understanding that they do their best they can from their point of view, that they have taught to us how to live in this world through their experience, and that their emotions and fears drive the way they interact with us, we are more aware of the power we have of being better human beings by working hard on our own selves. We don’t need to try to change people, feeling good about our own evolution, and personal work, is enough for everyone around us to recognize new things that may help them transforming their own selves.

We know that as children we have he opportunity to create harmony with our parents (click here to read about conscious children) and it is important that, as parents that we are, or want to be, we also assume the responsibility for acts that are really constructive for the relationship with our children. Here we have 6 steps to expand our awareness as parents for having a more assertive relationship with our kids:

  1. Understand that the children belong to the world and that they need an example of consciousness, self-sufficiency, contribution and respect at home so they can be their own selves and integrate that example into their life to build a world of integrity.
  2. Create an environment where there is transparent expression and full presence (moments where there is only time and space for family communication).
  3. Know and understand yourself (emotionally, sentimental, physically and mentally) to constantly evolve and be able to guide your children along this constructive path.
  4. Be coherent and seek the clearest possible way of explaining to children what is not clear for them.
  5. Stimulate a child’s creativity and enrich it through new knowledge and experiences.
  6. Teach through example the importance of clarity and focus on what they want and the discipline to act assertively.

Being parents is the opportunity to grow in love, to relate to another generation to enrich our own experience, to build the best possible way for that legacy to evolve and touch more hearts. To be a parent is to plant the best seed, to water it, to care for it, and to let it bloom.

Let’s thank our parents for the beautiful work they’ve done with us. Let’s allow us to flourish and to be more conscious, responsible and constructive people, and take this construction to our children.

Love,
Ángel

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Transmutation of the Being: 4 aspects to connect to what we truly are

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Our life is a personal construction that may be unconscious or conscious. Everything that manifests is our responsability, it depends on us to decide taking that in a conscious way in order to connect to our real selves for detaching of what we think we are.

Being who we really are is recognizing that the responsability about what we think, feel and express is totally ours, the decisions of every little thing in our lives it’s been made by ourselves (although sometimes it seems otherwise, it only takes one decision to change our present). That’s why we must be the most conscious possible about our own perception system, understanding how it works leads us to a deeper comprehension about ourselves (click here to buy the book 7 Levels for Personal Empowerment).

For getting to know who we reall are, it is necessary to perceive, integrate and transform, consciously, these 4 aspects:

  1. Beliefs: the filters that impact our perception of the world.
  2. Emotions: reactions that lead us to make decisions in a mental and impulsive way.
  3. Actions: the way ew nurture and strenghten ourselves, focus and use our bodies to express ourselves.
  4. Words: opinions and ideas we transmit.

Our true essence is in our state of flow and peace, as we broaden our perspective, we choose the mentality, the feeling and the expression, more aligned to our truth, becoming more coherent with our desire of integration of the heart (click here to read about coherence).

Let’s contribute, be authentic and work for a more conscious world.

Love,
Ángel

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Harmony of Energy in Context

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Everything is energy. With this phrase we easily understand how our creation works as social individuals. In times of competitiveness in sports, politics, opinions, etc., we perceive that neither of the two extremes is right or wrong, each part has important points that we must consider to build in a solid way with the same purpose: focusing our energy (attention, thoughts, words, actions, feelings) in building an integral society, in which the conscious meritocracy and the contribution are the foundation (click here to read about helping and contributing).

According to the Oxford dictionary, harmony is the quality of forming a pleasing and consistent whole. From this definition we can perceive that que reason for one extreme to exist is its opposite (click here to read about polarities), hence the importance of building as close as possible to neutrality. How do we do that? Simple, we can put into practice the following actions in our own experience:

  1. Discovering our talents: we are all born with some talent, is what we do naturally well and keeps us in a state of flux, calm and creating..
  2. Developing and contextualizing our talents: when we have discovered our talents, it’s necessary to develop them and integrate them into the social context we’re in, maintaining our common purpose.
  3. Contributing: as we specialize, we understand that it is essential to contribute with our intention, because every thought, feeling, word and action focused on the common purpose allows us to build efficiently and sustainably.
  4. Allowing communication to flow: with a common purpose, communication focused on expanding perspectives must flow to consciously integrate the most appropriate possibilities for the moment.
  5. Flexibility: every purpose must be adjusted, because we are all in constant transformation, so as we become more aware we perceive that we need to be flexible to integrate new elements and even discard what is unnecessary for our purpose.

May our words be to build and suggest from our own wisdom (knowledge and experience), may our talents be at the service of everything that exists, may the responsibility for our own energy be assumed and we trust the fact that we’re all committed from our heart to integrity, transparency, respect and coherence (click here to read about our coherence).

Love,
Ángel

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