control

Forgiveness Part 3: Releasing Control

Version en español versão em portugues

As mentioned in the first article of our series Forgiveness (click here to read it), it is common that we feel hurt when situations do not turn out as we expect, or people do not act the way we want. But, if, sometimes, even ourselves do not act the way we thought we would, or do not say what we thought we would, how could we expect something from others? This is the starting point for releasing control.

Thinking we have control over other is an illusion. It emerges from the idea that we are superior, in some way, or that we have more capacity, whether we are parents, teachers, bosses, leaders, elders, partners, lovers, etc., and that we inspire respect. This control relationships are based on the idea that every person that depends on us, whether physical, material or emotionally, can be controlled by us, and, actually, we are only able to see whatever confirms that idea, that is just the manifestation of other people fears, and has nothing to do with respect. But, Are we able to perceive that each person is deciding according to their own fears and the position that decide to assume? 

So, do we really have control over something? The answer is Yes, over our own selves through self-knowledge. When we decide to release external control to allow us feeling within ourselves, we get to understand what really motivates us to express ourselves and live in a certin way. Where does our love for control come from?, from our own insecurities? When we know ourselves from within, we gain confidence, are aware of what we can do, understand and respect our limits, and that shows us that external control is not what we think. If we are able to feel good with ourselves, live enjoying what we like and express ourselves in the most objetive way possible, what do we want to control others?  

We can commit to having control over what we express, or do not, how we nourish ourselves, the physical activity that we give to our bodies, to choose people with whom we feel most at ease, to create our environment and allow that, what is born from there, flows, bringing learning and growth.

About this matter we still have two topics to integrate, the next article is focus on learning to accept the truth. See you then 🙂

Love,
Ángel

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Version en español versão em portugues

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