Forgiveness Part 2: Integrating Guilt

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Following forgiveness series, we are approaching guilt in order to understand how to integrate it in a way we can transform whatever has stopped being useful in our present.

Some of us has learnt to assume the reponsibility for other people well-being, from emotional to material. From this role many guilts emerge thourghtou our lives, since we try to please everyone to ensure harmony wherever we are and if we feel we can’t we blame ourselves for the consequences of our “faults”.

By definition, guilt is the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty, but, is everything that happens someone’s fault?, what if we ALL learn to assume our responsibility in every issue and look together for the way of doing the necessary adjustment for the next time we ALL being responsible for the “good” consequence of our acts?

I want to share a personal story. One day, leaving the parking lot of a mall, I crashed into a moving car. The two people at the wheel were walking in reverse and we crashed. When I got out of the car, the very nervous lady began to tell me that it was my fault, I simply told her that we were both driving and that, therefore, it was the responsibility of both of us. By this I mean by taking responsibility, this can happen in different environments and areas in our life, but always through dialogue we can build a better consequence for the next.

Let’s integrate the guilt to channel it as a personal responsibility, in which each of us consciously assume that our acts (or lack thereof, which are also acts) have an impact on everything and everyone around us and construct more assertive consequences from each situation.

Remember to follow the Empowering Angle Portal content by subcribing, following us on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/empoweringangle/) and Instragram (https://www.instagram.com/empoweringangle/), we will approach forgiveness integrated to control in the next post..

Love,
Ángel

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Forgiveness Part 1: Definition and Resignification

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Talking to my friend Lina María (author of the EA Portal), we perceive that is necessary to break some paradigms about forgiveness so we can understand it better and integrate it to our lives in an easy and effective way. Because of it, this and the next posts are focus on the action of forgiving, going through the definition, break of paradigm, resignification, integration and application of forgiveness, integrally, in our lives.

The word forgive is defined as ceasing to feel resentment against someone. Integrating this definition to our personal experience, it is common that we perceive forgiveness as a superior way of relating to people or situations that, from our perspective, have hurt us. Now we are ready to break the paradigm of forgiving.

When we uderstand that comparisons, judgement and faults are part of a model that needs to be transformed for us to learn to relate in a more transparent, authentic, respectful and responsible way, to construct and remodel, sustainably, our planet, it’s necessary to break the paradigm that fogiveness makes us superior and resignify it as the integration of the ideia that we are responsible for choosing if something, efectively, affects us or hurts us.

Normally we feel hurt when a situation doesn’t go as expected, but, the same way we can blame others for what they say or do, we are also able to take responsibility for the expectation we have created for us to feel well, accepted, loved, etc, and for allowing others to enter and stay in our lives. If we analize a little deeper, feeling hurt comes from a need of control, from the desire of controlling our lives, and the people and situations in it. Let’s see this steps that lead us to connect to a side of our human nature that lets us low with our hearts:

  1. Seeing life as a constant learning: when we go into each situation, with all our senses, we can perceive elements that can lead us to a broader understanding of who we are.
  2. Being grateful for every minute of our lives: we can choose to see our lives as a miracle, be able to breathe or do what we de can always be a motive of gratitude and every lesson too, painful as they may seem, show us that we are more than we think.
  3. Putting into practice the exercices  to bring our minds to the present (click here to read the article about present mind), excercising the empowering of beliefs (click here to read the article about beliefs) and accepting people and situation as they are.

 

Let’s share our forgiveness experiences in the comments so that we can broaden our viewpoints. The subject of the next article is guilt and how to resignify it and integrate it into the process of personal forgiveness.

Love,
Ángel

Contact:

Email: empowered.angel@outlook.com
WhatsApp: +57 305 3715480

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Integrating the Self: 3 steps to integrate our desire and social expectation

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Lately we’ve been understanding that is necessary to set boundaries, from our true necessities, so we can relate to people in a more constructive way in order to integrate ourselves to connect to who we really are.

But, why focusing so much on integration instead of positivity?, it is simple, if we want the world to change we have to acknowledge other points of you, it’s all about  personal decisions. During the last few years, I’ve been strengthening my believe that we are all one, is like being part of a body where each one of us has a certain role and, by integrating it to the other roles of the whole system, we potentiate it.

Can we imagine our brains working only for, and by, themselves, independent from the rest of our bodies? When we think about that we can perceive the importance of integrating even more to others. For example, the more we integrate nutrition, physical activity, presence (meditation in everything we do), breathing, learning, mental activity and feelings, in an appropriate way, the better our organs work, the more energy we have and the more harmonious way we relate to everyone and everything around us.

And now that we can understand better about integration let’s focus on a very important aspect: Our Self. The Self is the way we recognize ourselves and the way we are aware of our own identity, according to Freud, is the balance of our desires and what society expects from us. Then, if we decide we want to work on our talents, but people think they’re not that profitable, we can create an inner conflict, for we need to choose between what we love and the expectations of others. But, what if we learn to integrate the Self and make it an ally? It’s possible by following these steps, that can be used in any field of our lives:

  1. Identify what we love that is constructive: let’s avoid using tags, we can feel ourselves flowing with many activities in our lives, we can create, from that point, new ways of offering the world what we can give. There is a universe of possibilities in the same field, let’s think and feel differently, by integrating what we love in our jobs and take it to the world. What about being a music teacher who integrates musical composition with their personal experiences? Everything is possible.
  2. Identify what is expected from us: at this point everything depends on the points of view of others, since society itself doesn’t expect the same from everyone of us, in fact we want more and more differentiated or personalized products and services. First of all, it is necessary to identify with whom we want to connect in our lives, and, from that point, understand what that group of consciousness expect from a work like ours.
  3. Integrate two visions with purpose and in a prosper way: since we already know what we want, and what the specific group expects, we can build our own way of prospering in society, with a purpose. Feeling what we do with our hearts (that makes us enjoy life) and materialize everything with the mind (that connects us to material reality), is an interesting and constructive integration, another point of view.

Let’s teach our Self that there are other points of view, so we can integrate it as a vital part of our personal development and expand our personal connection. I choose living from the point of view of “survival of the wisest”. What about you? What point of view do you choose?

Love,
Ángel

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Expanding Our Perception