For being conscious about our expression (gestures, words, actions, emotions) the first step is exercising the mental presence, which we get through the integration of our perception of the world and our attention, as we read and practice at the post 4 steps to keep our minds in the present (click here to read the full article).
When our minds are present, we can focus them on our own construction, but, how can that be useful? Easy, let’s start working on it by parts. On this post, we’ll understand how to use the present mind for reprograming our own thoughts, since they are responsible for one third of our humor and energy level (for the other two thirds our perception and our expression).
All of us have grown up in different environments and, unconsciously, we are constantly subjected to information that makes us focus on the “destructive” side of life. And, as it is what we receive most, we see that our conversations with people become a fertile field for us to talk about others, complain, feel sorry, quoting tragedies, in short, talking about something we’re not able to transform. And that, efectively, influence our humor and energy.
Let’s focus our attention on how tuning in, consciously, with the constructive side of life for reprograming our thoughts (click here to read about empowering habits). Let’s follow these 3 steps daily until we integrate them to our habits:
- Looking for constructive information sources to replace destructive information. Through the internet, television, people we interact with, etc. For example, instead of looking up for what’s bad for our bodies, looking up for what’s good.
- Perceiving the thoughts that appear during the day. If they makes us feel worried, anxious or any destructive sensation let’s find constructive personal motives to resignify them. For example, I think I need money to pay a bill, I see I can organize a raffle, do an extra job or sell something no longer useful and I realize I can get the money, then I focus my thoughts on the action that I’m going to take to get the right amount, maybe I could get more.
- Focusing our thoughts on ourselves, and the projects we’re involved in, since is where we can, efectively, take responsibility for the transformation. Why thinking on the motives of other people, that are their own responsability, if we can use this time to expand our consciousness and construct ourselves? Let’s think about it.
- Finding, at least once a day, a place where we admire everything we perceive with our senses, and we feel calm, and think about every constructive thing we have experienced and how we can integrate that into our lives, into our projects.
It’s our decision to choose what we want to connect ourselves to (click here to read about connecting to our hearts). The more people aware of their own lives and willing to contribute in an assertive way, the better results we have reforming the world we live in, building every day with more assertiveness and innovating to transform whatever is necessary. I choose to connect myself to everything that contributes to my integrity to transform the world with the contribution of everyone and everything around me, what about you?
Let’s share this easy method with people who want to recover their energy and feel empowered.
When we interact with ourselves and with everyting around us, it’s important to be aware of acting more and reacting less. Today, let’s concentrate on our thoughts, what goes through our minds all the time.
In 2016, I participated in a training to consctruct a more assertive communication and the message is very clear, we carry many filters we are not very aware of, our judgements, and comparisons based on our own beliefs (which sometimes give us security because other people have also bought them), and those filters make our mind to keep reacting to everything we go through instead of being present (click here to read about deciding by conviction).
Many times, while talking to someone, we start judging what the person is saying, within our minds, whether in a positive or negative way, and we already have a prepared answer. In some cases the person hasn’t even finished talking and we answer (before we forget). And we do that constantly, in almost everything we do. We cook thinking about the time, take shower thinking about what we’re going to wear, etc., any situation mess up with our minds when we’re not aware of bringing it to the present moment.
Today, we’re going to follow these steps to bring our mind back to the “here and now” and train it for acting from the moment on, instead of reacting from our filters:
- Choosing only one action to focus our mental attention.
- Focusing on the person and/or action that is happening.
- If a thought comes up let it pass and come back to the focus point.
- Feeling, with all perception system, whatever we’re living.
As we practice following these steps, our minds get used to the new behavior pattern and our state of attention, and connection, in life changes. Share this post with someone who finds it necessary and tell us about you. Does our mind live in the future, in the past or in the present?
It is essential to integrate perspectives that allow us to construct more consciously what we really want as society. When we decided to get closer, respecting the differences of personal beliefs, we managed to build new situations that allow us to expand our perception of the world, since each of us has a different perception according to what we live.
At this moment we have the opportunity to understand that the more we focus constructively and integratively on differences, the more we contribute to build justice and inclusion. We all have the right to have the knowledge that we are 100% responsible for what we decide to live, it is up to us to focus our energy to build what we want (it never depends on the external, it is our own will).
These initiatives, I’ve applied in my life, have been useful to expand my perception of the world and to construct more respectful and integral relationships:
LISTENING: We’re used to hearing (perceiving sound), but listening needs practice, because, for doing that, we need to understand that not everything we know is as it seems, that our reality is not the reality that everyone experiences. Only this way we can perceive the information and integrate it into the situation by putting it into perspective and, from there, decide if what we have to say really constructs and if it needs to be really expressed. Learning to listen involves avoiding automatic responses or advice that comes from our conviction to feel superior than others some way.
EXPRESSING ASSERTIVELY: the assertive expression includes coherence, transparency and neutrality. To practice it we need to set aside judgments, because they’re not the absolute truth, but a perception of reality according to our experience; knowing what we want to express and what impact we want to cause with it, and acting according to what we want to harvest in our lives.
INTEGRATING: assuming an integrative stance when interacting with the world, we can realize something that can be useful for what we want to build and that we haven’t perceived. A phrase, a video, a book, etc., can be the key to open a world of possibilities in our life. Starting from the basis that we can learn from everyone and everything, our position makes us respect and accept differences.
Respecting differences doesn’t mean that we have to learn to live all the time with everyone next to us, but we need to learn to live together as society in order to harvest the respect we demand from others. Are we really respectful to demand respect? (click here to read the text about respect)
For relationships to be constructive, they need investment of time and commitment from people involved in it, regardless of purpose or nature. Parents, siblings, uncles, grandparent, grandchildren, cousins, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mates, clients, companies, etc., can improve our life by observing the way we relate to everyone and everything and assessing the constructivity of our interactions (click here to read about constructive relationships).
When we put ourselves in people’s shoes we can have a wider and more objective perspective of what’s happening, since we can go beyond the titles that we have and often lead us to act from what we think that tag represent, but we are more than that. When we put ourselves in our parent’s shoes, understanding that they do their best they can from their point of view, that they have taught to us how to live in this world through their experience, and that their emotions and fears drive the way they interact with us, we are more aware of the power we have of being better human beings by working hard on our own selves. We don’t need to try to change people, feeling good about our own evolution, and personal work, is enough for everyone around us to recognize new things that may help them transforming their own selves.
We know that as children we have he opportunity to create harmony with our parents (click here to read about conscious children) and it is important that, as parents that we are, or want to be, we also assume the responsibility for acts that are really constructive for the relationship with our children. Here we have 6 steps to expand our awareness as parents for having a more assertive relationship with our kids:
- Understand that the children belong to the world and that they need an example of consciousness, self-sufficiency, contribution and respect at home so they can be their own selves and integrate that example into their life to build a world of integrity.
- Create an environment where there is transparent expression and full presence (moments where there is only time and space for family communication).
- Know and understand yourself (emotionally, sentimental, physically and mentally) to constantly evolve and be able to guide your children along this constructive path.
- Be coherent and seek the clearest possible way of explaining to children what is not clear for them.
- Stimulate a child’s creativity and enrich it through new knowledge and experiences.
- Teach through example the importance of clarity and focus on what they want and the discipline to act assertively.
Being parents is the opportunity to grow in love, to relate to another generation to enrich our own experience, to build the best possible way for that legacy to evolve and touch more hearts. To be a parent is to plant the best seed, to water it, to care for it, and to let it bloom.
Let’s thank our parents for the beautiful work they’ve done with us. Let’s allow us to flourish and to be more conscious, responsible and constructive people, and take this construction to our children.
Everything is energy. With this phrase we easily understand how our creation works as social individuals. In times of competitiveness in sports, politics, opinions, etc., we perceive that neither of the two extremes is right or wrong, each part has important points that we must consider to build in a solid way with the same purpose: focusing our energy (attention, thoughts, words, actions, feelings) in building an integral society, in which the conscious meritocracy and the contribution are the foundation (click here to read about helping and contributing).
According to the Oxford dictionary, harmony is the quality of forming a pleasing and consistent whole. From this definition we can perceive that que reason for one extreme to exist is its opposite (click here to read about polarities), hence the importance of building as close as possible to neutrality. How do we do that? Simple, we can put into practice the following actions in our own experience:
- Discovering our talents: we are all born with some talent, is what we do naturally well and keeps us in a state of flux, calm and creating..
- Developing and contextualizing our talents: when we have discovered our talents, it’s necessary to develop them and integrate them into the social context we’re in, maintaining our common purpose.
- Contributing: as we specialize, we understand that it is essential to contribute with our intention, because every thought, feeling, word and action focused on the common purpose allows us to build efficiently and sustainably.
- Allowing communication to flow: with a common purpose, communication focused on expanding perspectives must flow to consciously integrate the most appropriate possibilities for the moment.
- Flexibility: every purpose must be adjusted, because we are all in constant transformation, so as we become more aware we perceive that we need to be flexible to integrate new elements and even discard what is unnecessary for our purpose.
May our words be to build and suggest from our own wisdom (knowledge and experience), may our talents be at the service of everything that exists, may the responsibility for our own energy be assumed and we trust the fact that we’re all committed from our heart to integrity, transparency, respect and coherence (click here to read about our coherence).
We’re all children, sometimes we create bonds with new people in our lives who welcome us as family, others live the experience with our blood family, at the end we’re all children and being a child is to find a way of integrate to our parents through respect and love. Now that we know how to exercise respect (click here to read the text about respect) we can understand better what we can do as children every day.
Our parents share their experience and show us different ways of living. The fact of having them in our lives doesn’t mean we have to be like them but that we can learn from them and teach them (click here to read the text about differences). Family is a structure full of diversity in which, when applying acceptance and respect (click here to read the text about conscious respect), we are able to enrich our points of view to integrate them into our experience.
Let’s see some useful actions to harmonize family life by being more conscious children:
- Absorb the best from around avoiding judgement.
- Take resposibility for our lives, avoiding blame.
- Colaborate with harmony and maintenance of home.
- Establish and respect space and boundaries (click here to read the text about boundaries).
- Be open to communication.
- Thank for being in Family.
In our home we can, in a more relaxed way, learn to live by pleasure, with no obligation. When we empower ourselves of home we discover the importance of teamwork. As children we must understand that we are all different and in order to work on family challenges it’s important that we learn to communicate. Usually, parents give their best from their experience, although in the eyes of some it seems the opposite. Neither the children, nor the parents have manuals, for this reason it’s important to create a healthy space for communication in which the points of view can be expressed in an environment of acceptance and respect.
I decide to be an active part of the harmony and maintenance of my own home right here and right now. What about you?
It is very important to work on our self-relationship (click here to read the text about transforming our self relationship), in order to understand who we really are (click here to read the text about self-knowledge) and be ready to relate to the world in a more assertive way. This includes to detach from destructive relationships, even if it is because of our or other’s intentions, and building new constructive relationships for our lives.
Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons (click here to read the text about empowering habits)..
Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.
There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.
- In the relationship the both of us support each other?
- Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
- Is there freedom for being who we really are?
- Is there honesty and transparency?
- Is there dialog without manipulation?
- Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
- The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?
If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)..
When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts). So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .
Let’s be independent, dependency always causes undesireble emotional situations (click here to read the text about emotions and feelings).