Tag Archives: couple

Manifesting the Relationship we Desire

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I’ve been through several moments in my life that have contributed to a wider and more responsible perception about relationships. The life lived from the mental and emotional worlds can lead to a desconnection of integrity and personal power, what leads to experimentation from voids, created by the illusion of separation that generates individualistic people. This is the foundation for having relationships with parcial, or total, absence of transparency, acceptance, respect and coherene, starting from the relationship with one self, and that keeps going until we decide to learn how to experience our lives from integration of our mental and emotional worlds with our hearts, our essence.

The relationship we have with ourselves is the only one we can actually manifest in our relationships with everything and everyone around us, the more transparent, coherent, respectful and whole we are to ourselves, the more we manifest that in our relationships (click here to read about reflections on relationships). Thats why our integrated relationship, with our lives, with the environment and with people, has clear purposes, to reveal in the present the consequences of what we’ve thought, felt and expressed, so we can transform the way we relate from inside out (click here to read about purposes in our relationships) .

Now that we understand that we can only manifest outer relationships from our current state within, we can reflect on these aspects that effectively take us to relate ourselves to everything around us in a more conscious way:

  1. TRANSPARENCY: this aspect starts with self-knowledge, because, when we discover our motives behind every decision, we can analize and align them to the truth of authenticity in unity within our heart. By being honest to ourselves we begin to feel our self-confidence increasing, what leads us to the certainty of expressing our talents, our desire of contributing, our innate universal connection, and, consequently, to manifest a reality in which the expression of truth is always our priority.

  2. COHERENCE: as we know ourselves, we perceive that we need to allow our perceptive system to expand, in order to align our expression to the personal wisdom of who we truly are, and integrate it to the context. Our thoughts need to be more focused on construction from contribution (click here to read about contributing), our emotions need to be felt and integrated to express integrity from our feelings (click here to read about sublimation of emotions) and our expression needs to be more integral, considering the context and our real ability of contributing.

  3. ACCEPTANCE: when we accept ourselves from our essence, and understand that we are all in a process of constant experimentation of our own reality, we get to accept and understand everything and everyone around us. Our power of decision is focused on ourselves, we are responsible for what we construct and for the impact it has in society, we must be the example of the integrity and the peace we want from the world (click here to read about constructing peace).

  4. INTEGRITY: when we connect to reality as integral beings, whole, that have all what is necessary to contribute from our essence, we are ready to build in the whole as a cell, by assuming the role we are meant to, from a purpose that integrates all the areas of our lives, and that manifests relationships focused on its construction. In a state of integrity we are able to love from freedom of being who we are and embrace everything and everyone for who they are, we understand that every relationship is part of the construction and according to its purpose in our lives we must decide and act (click here to read about constructive relationships).

From the truth of our heart we construct relationships that connect ourselves to each other and strengthen the structure to build up, since we accept differences as an integral part of the whole, and we perceive from the essence of the moment. We perceive life as a moment, we live it as if only the present exists with the purpose of leaving an integral legacy that serves as an example to evolve in unity, from love, from integration.

Love,
Ángel

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We broke up, what now?

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A very common issue about relationships is the end itself, sometimes well defined, others not that much, but, at the end, they have in common the fact that they take us out from our comfort zone and makes us question ourselves about many things. But, what can we do when this happens in order to get used to the space left by the presence of the other? This is the subject today.

First of all, it is important that we have some time on our own to perceive, in an objective way, our relationship and the feelings we have had during our time together, since this can lead us to understand that we must make some adjustments in many aspects of our own selves, from deciding what we expect from a relationship to defining the main principles the relationship must have as the foundation, this is what takes us to decide, with more assertiveness, in which moment we can take the step into a new relationship.

After we find the reasons that have led us to our relationship, and the needs behind them, it is important to release what is no longer part of our construction, in many cases we expect to come back because we are not sure of what we want to construct, that is why it is so important that we learn to be clear and coherent to ourselves, so we can express our truth to others.

Finally, it is necessary to assume our responsability about everything that has happened, accept that, while we continue being the same, from our belief system and emotions, there is no way of keeping changes that please the other and that make us feel good in our own skin for long. We change from a deep necessity of being more aligned to our own moment, others may be an inspiration for our transformation, but we are the ones that decide when is time to do it, and if that lets us flow along with our own principles.

To finish, let’s see some steps that have turned out well for some people I know that have ended their relationships, and for me after breaking up a relationship of 9 years :

  1. Dedicating the time we would spend with the person to make something we enjoy doing by ourselves. In my case, writing has always been a moment of reconnection, that let me channel any emotion and even realize when I feel something I wasn’t conscious about before. Any activity we can use as a way of expressing ourselves can be useful for the process of gettin to know ourselves better.

  2. Allowing us to connect to different people from our friends and family to broaden our perspectives.

  3. Giving ourselves the time to do practically “NOTHING”, those moments without commitments in which we’re able to flow with our own company, open up ourselves to new possibilities.

  4. Defining what we want from a relationship is essential, since that allows us to make decisions out of conviction (click here to read about deciding by conviction) regarding the relationships we allow in our lives. In my case, in this moment I prioritize the freedom to be who I am, and to allow the others to be who they are, and the peace to build a relationship from integrity, transparency and respect, so I let my emotions flow to feel with my heart the purpose of each relationship (click here to read about connecting with the heart).

It is important to understand that the feeling we have constructed, for the person, remains, it always continues as a part of ourselves, but we simply know that we need to move forward transforming the limits of the relationship so we can continue our own work of self-knowledge and evolution (click here to read about sublimation of our mental, emotional, creative and sexual realities).

We always have the possibility of looking for different ways of relating to the world, we can choose living by being who we really are, with transparency and sincerity, and knowing people who choose this way too, since, this way, we can construct solid and enhancing foundation, in order to broaden authenticity in unity inside a society of integrity.

Love,
Ángel

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Conscious Love: 3 habits to connect to each other

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Now that we understand the importance of harmony between parents (click here to read about conscious parents) and children (click here to read about conscious children) we can connect, in a more assertive way, with what is really necessary to build our relationships.

It’s important to begin with the principle of responsibility. We start a relationship because we decide so, the other is there to teach us, through love, what we haven’t recognized (beliefs, needs, emotions) and, yet, we need to empower and resignify in order to connect to our inner peace.

Having the present points clear we are able to develop new habits that allow us to learn, in a peaceful way, through our relationships.

  1. Giving and Receiving: the first point is to identify what we expect from the other person and what we are willing to give. If we expect something we’re not willing to give, there is something we need to work on within us, whether by allowing the transparency, and letting things happen as a part of an agreement, or finding motives for us to connect to fidelity within ourselves, empowering limiting beliefs we have about compromise.
  2. Communication: in order to keep a healthy relationship, it is important to know what we want and feel free to express everything in an assertive way. We must remember that the other is there for us to know ourselves better, therefore the approach must always be from our personal perspective. Sharing, recognizing and respecting boundaries are the keys to build a solid foundation of respect (click here to read about boundaries and respect).
  3. Freedom: one of the most important aspects of paradigm shift in relationships is freedom of being our own selves. We must allow the real expression of each other, connect to ourselves and have the opportunity of deciding, easily, where we go, it may be through other paths. This is possible when we learn to, truly, love ourselves and, that way, we allow the entrance to our lives of people that resonate with that inner love and project themselves in a more aligned way to our life purpose.

Love is giving, receiving, cexpressing, respecting and being free to decide. Let’s avoid using tags to clip people’s wings, instead, we can use them to potentiate our intention of uniting to someone with the purpose of constructing together, let’s honor our feelings, thoughts, and expression with our love.

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Relationships: 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships

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It is very important to work on our self-relationship (click here to read the text about transforming our self relationship), in order to understand who we really are (click here to read the text about self-knowledge) and be ready to relate to the world in a more assertive way. This includes to detach from destructive relationships, even if it is because of our or other’s intentions, and building new constructive relationships for our lives.

Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons (click here to read the text about empowering habits)..

Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.

There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.

  1. In the relationship the both of us support each other?
  2. Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
  3. Is there freedom for being who we really are?
  4. Is there honesty and transparency?
  5. Is there dialog without manipulation?
  6. Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
  7. The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?

If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)..

When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts). So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .

Let’s be independent, dependency always causes undesireble emotional situations (click here to read the text about emotions and feelings).

Love,
Ángel

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