It is essential to understand the definition of certain words, in order to experience their meaning as it truly is, this can transform us and connect ourselves mentally to our peace.
According to the definition of the Cambridge Dictionary, family is a large group of related types of animal or plant. By, literally, taking this definition, we can understand that we are all family, since we are all human.
I’ve known many situations of people that know each other just a little, but they feel home together, that have a very deep connection with people, they couldn’t even imagine they could relate to, through high levels of mental, sentimental and physical intimacy, and that have understood that we are all family.
In order to potentiate our peace, we must learn how to decide in the present whatever is more appropriate to our construction from integrity, this includes all kinds of relationships. There, where we feel free to express ourselves from our hearts, is where we must invest our energy.
The way we decide to educate our children, directly impacts our home, our family, our neighborhood, our city, our country and our planet, so, in order to choose more consciously, let’s answer this question: How do we want our planet to be? If the answer is that we want a world of peace, transparency, respect and coherence, this text serves to contribute to this construction.
We all have something in common, we are all children (click here to read about being more conscious children to harmonize our home), and we have learned to be the most appropriate children for the family we grew up in, or the most inappropriate, depending of the current belief system. From my own experience I can say that, during my growth, many times I agreed, and many others disagreed, with what I perceived and what my family transmitted to me, I got to distance myself from them to feel free until I felt ready to integrate myself again with a more integral vision of myself on the planet where I am, and thanks to that my family relationships have been transformed. And it is from this experience that I transmit this special message to the people who already have children or who want to have them.
As children we are programmed to observe and learn from what surrounds us in order to adapt to the place where we were born, sometimes we perceive incoherence and, when we don’t receive answers about the reasons why they allow us, or forbid us, to do certain things, we decided to experiment on our own, for better understanding what is behind the decision of the people around us. Here, I explain some points that I consider essential to educate more conscious children through example and coherence (click here to read about conscious parents):
RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS: For our children to learn to feel themselves worth it, and to relate in a respectful and authentic way, they need to perceive us being authentic, establishing priorities that construct what we want in life and respecting everyone and everything around us (click here to read about respect and click here to read about boundaries). Let’s focus more on our personal construction and how to channel it to impact constructively and avoid positive or negative judgment of what others think, feel, do or say.
TRANSPARENT COMMUNICATION: Let’s perceive how many lies (including white ones) we say per day and work to avoid them, when we transparently communicate who we are and what we want, in a coherent and respectful way, we build an environment in which truth is a habit and our children also perceive it (click here to read about transparency).
COHERENCE: This is the most important point, because we only achieve coherence when we align feeling, thought, word and action. It is a process of self-observation that requires learning about us to act more consciously (click here to read about our coherence).
Working on our own coherence allows us to build the best example for our children and for all people who love and admire us. Let’s be conscious of the impact we cause and assume responsibility for being, at all times, the best example we can, an example that doesn’t even need to be explained.
For relationships to be constructive, they need investment of time and commitment from people involved in it, regardless of purpose or nature. Parents, siblings, uncles, grandparent, grandchildren, cousins, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mates, clients, companies, etc., can improve our life by observing the way we relate to everyone and everything and assessing the constructivity of our interactions (click here to read about constructive relationships).
When we put ourselves in people’s shoes we can have a wider and more objective perspective of what’s happening, since we can go beyond the titles that we have and often lead us to act from what we think that tag represent, but we are more than that. When we put ourselves in our parent’s shoes, understanding that they do their best they can from their point of view, that they have taught to us how to live in this world through their experience, and that their emotions and fears drive the way they interact with us, we are more aware of the power we have of being better human beings by working hard on our own selves. We don’t need to try to change people, feeling good about our own evolution, and personal work, is enough for everyone around us to recognize new things that may help them transforming their own selves.
Understand that the children belong to the world and that they need an example of consciousness, self-sufficiency, contribution and respect at home so they can be their own selves and integrate that example into their life to build a world of integrity.
Create an environment where there is transparent expression and full presence (moments where there is only time and space for family communication).
Know and understand yourself (emotionally, sentimental, physically and mentally) to constantly evolve and be able to guide your children along this constructive path.
Be coherent and seek the clearest possible way of explaining to children what is not clear for them.
Stimulate a child’s creativity and enrich it through new knowledge and experiences.
Teach through example the importance of clarity and focus on what they want and the discipline to act assertively.
Being parents is the opportunity to grow in love, to relate to another generation to enrich our own experience, to build the best possible way for that legacy to evolve and touch more hearts. To be a parent is to plant the best seed, to water it, to care for it, and to let it bloom.
Let’s thank our parents for the beautiful work they’ve done with us. Let’s allow us to flourish and to be more conscious, responsible and constructive people, and take this construction to our children.
We’re all children, sometimes we create bonds with new people in our lives who welcome us as family, others live the experience with our blood family, at the end we’re all children and being a child is to find a way of integrate to our parents through respect and love. Now that we know how to exercise respect (click here to read the text about respect) we can understand better what we can do as children every day.
Our parents share their experience and show us different ways of living. The fact of having them in our lives doesn’t mean we have to be like them but that we can learn from them and teach them (click here to read the text about differences). Family is a structure full of diversity in which, when applying acceptance and respect (click here to read the text about conscious respect), we are able to enrich our points of view to integrate them into our experience.
Let’s see some useful actions to harmonize family life by being more conscious children:
In our home we can, in a more relaxed way, learn to live by pleasure, with no obligation. When we empower ourselves of home we discover the importance of teamwork. As children we must understand that we are all different and in order to work on family challenges it’s important that we learn to communicate. Usually, parents give their best from their experience, although in the eyes of some it seems the opposite. Neither the children, nor the parents have manuals, for this reason it’s important to create a healthy space for communication in which the points of view can be expressed in an environment of acceptance and respect.
I decide to be an active part of the harmony and maintenance of my own home right here and right now. What about you?
Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons (click here to read the text about empowering habits)..
Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.
There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.
In the relationship the both of us support each other?
Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
Is there freedom for being who we really are?
Is there honesty and transparency?
Is there dialog without manipulation?
Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?
If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)..
When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts). So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .
