Tag Archives: questioning

What Do We Deserve?

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Learning to follow our hearts (click here to read about connecting to our hearts) is one of the most effective ways for us to understand that we are worth it the way we truly are and that, if we decide to be integrated and complete in our present, that is the minimum we deserve to live, it is from here that we begin to prioritize, in a more appropriate way for us, the activities and people in our lives.

Some of our beliefs make us accept crumbs of life because we feel in some way that is what we give, this is why we need to learn more about ourselves and invest in the development of our human skills as a whole, from the way in which we relate to ourselves, as a basis, until the way we give the most appropriate to us in each moment we live. Let’s see situations that can be presented to us in which we can choose a more integral path for ourselves:

  1. Do we depend on people doing what we want them to do? It is more common than we think, it occurs mainly in power relationships in which we need to feel that we dominate the other person to feel safe. We need to learn to be self-sufficient and to know ourselves so well that we know what we can really do, and so understand what others can give too. We all have our talents and we can construct together, but not delegate responsibility for everything we want and need, each of us must play a part. This way, we have more constructive relationships and we leave emotional dependence aside to construct more integral relationships.

  2. Do we consider we do not receive what we give? Let’s check the reasons that lead us to give, because we often believe something is best for the other person without considering what the person experience. We can only really know what is most appropriate for us, let’s give more attention to what we can work on ourselves and listen more to others, avoiding our automatic answers.

  3. Do we say YES to satisfy others? life is made of moments, saying yes to everything without asking ourselves if that is what is really necessary for us to build what we want in our lives, is to say that we deserve whatever appears, let’s evaluate better and decide according to our own principles and projects, let’s respect ourselves (click here to read about learning to say “NO”).

  4. Are we interested in someone who is in a relationship? this case can happen, so, before we try to convince ourselves through our beliefs, or personal or other’s experiences, that it is right to get in the middle of a relationship, let’s think about how we would like our relationship to be and if what we are going to do we would like to experience, if we were the other person of the couple. Any action, or reaction, has its effect, so, even if we think we are immune, it is necessary to evaluate each step we want to take.

  5. Do we work because of love or needs? the fears that we lack resources, or that our talents are not paid if we use them by ourselves (or that will take a long time for giving us return), or the need to become millionaires because we think that we will be happy, or because we think that only money leads to success, these are some of the reasons that can keep us in a life ruled by money that doesn’t even make us feel satisfied, but at least it makes us feel material security. Let’s question our priorities in life, do we work in a place that respects people, the environment, that has principles aligned to ours as humans? What would we do if we had one last day of life, we would go to work in that company? Here we need to integrate everything with what we flow and put it into the context we find ourselves in. Remember that success is the happy result of an act, therefore, to walk over ourselves, our principles and others (however well mentally justified it may seem), is not succeeding, let’s evaluate our actions in a more conscious way.

We deserve an integral present, aligned to our principles and to the respect and love we have for ourselves, so let’s evaluate the options that are presented to us, all that makes us doubt let’s evaluate it even better, let’s trust more in ourselves, and in our capacities, and we will see a new reality opening up before us (click here to read about how to decide by conviction).

Love,
Ángel

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Let’s Question Ourselves: 2 Steps to Live the Life we Deserve

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The life we deserve is directly related to who we are, conscious and unconsciously, and this being misaligned to the feeling of unity, in which transparency, acceptance and respect are built, brings everything we constantly complain about to our lives, because we express that and we live it, since we harvest what we sow, it is a law that leads us to question ourselves if we are deciding to act in a way that allows us to live the life we really want.

When we feed destructive thoughts of anger, hatred, resentment, etc., that actually governs the way we feel, react and express ourselves, therefore it is what we are sowing and that is what we are harvesting. The same happens when we feed constructive thoughts of love, peace, respect, acceptance, etc., we are sowing and harvesting that for us (not necessarily with the same people). The point is that, according to the environment, we can perceive the constructive as destructive, and vice versa, for this reason it is necessary to question ourselves.

We are who we are because we have decided that, the interesting thing is that we can decide to be a more consistent version with our desire (click here to read the text about who we are). We have unconsciously created many things that have seemed unfair to us but that, if we question ourselves deeply, may have been a sample of something we were thinking, feeling, saying or doing in every moment. Following these steps we build the life we want and deserve to live in a conscious way:

  1. QUESTIONING: To start, it is necessary to question ourselves to understand what we are sowing, we can use the following questions: What example would our children perceive if we couldn’t talk to them? Are we aware of the effects that food causes on our bodies? Do we treat all people with the same level of respect? Do we always express ourselves with the same level of sincerity? Do we preoccupy or occupy ourselves? Do we judge or accept? Are we clear with everyone equally? After answering these questions we discover the coherence of our answers by asking: What life do we want? A life in which there is transparency, respect and acceptance, for example?, would the answers of what we are sowing fit with what we want? Let’s think about it.

  2. TRANSFORMATION: Once we have identified who we are, and what we want, we need to focus on transforming our incoherences into coherences. For example, if we want transparency but we don’t have the same level of sincerity always, we need to practice sincerity in our interactions in the most assertive way possible. So, if someone invites me somewhere and I prefer to do something else I can say “Today I prefer to stay home, thank you”. As we practice, we become specialists in our own lives. The idea is to do that process with each one of the incoherences that we perceive.

By being the change we want from the world, we are doing what is within our possibilities to construct a more conscious world, so when things seem to be unfair to us, let’s check what we are sowing to understand what we need to transform.

Love,
Ángel

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