Tag Archives: respect

Conscious Love: 3 habits to connect to each other

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Now that we understand the importance of harmony between parents (click here to read about conscious parents) and children (click here to read about conscious children) we can connect, in a more assertive way, with what is really necessary to build our relationships.

It’s important to begin with the principle of responsibility. We start a relationship because we decide so, the other is there to teach us, through love, what we haven’t recognized (beliefs, needs, emotions) and, yet, we need to empower and resignify in order to connect to our inner peace.

Having the present points clear we are able to develop new habits that allow us to learn, in a peaceful way, through our relationships.

  1. Giving and Receiving: the first point is to identify what we expect from the other person and what we are willing to give. If we expect something we’re not willing to give, there is something we need to work on within us, whether by allowing the transparency, and letting things happen as a part of an agreement, or finding motives for us to connect to fidelity within ourselves, empowering limiting beliefs we have about compromise.
  2. Communication: in order to keep a healthy relationship, it is important to know what we want and feel free to express everything in an assertive way. We must remember that the other is there for us to know ourselves better, therefore the approach must always be from our personal perspective. Sharing, recognizing and respecting boundaries are the keys to build a solid foundation of respect (click here to read about boundaries and respect).
  3. Freedom: one of the most important aspects of paradigm shift in relationships is freedom of being our own selves. We must allow the real expression of each other, connect to ourselves and have the opportunity of deciding, easily, where we go, it may be through other paths. This is possible when we learn to, truly, love ourselves and, that way, we allow the entrance to our lives of people that resonate with that inner love and project themselves in a more aligned way to our life purpose.

Love is giving, receiving, cexpressing, respecting and being free to decide. Let’s avoid using tags to clip people’s wings, instead, we can use them to potentiate our intention of uniting to someone with the purpose of constructing together, let’s honor our feelings, thoughts, and expression with our love.

Love,
Ángel

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Setting Boundaries: how to build personal respect

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As we expand our personal awareness we increase our connection with who we really are (click here to read about transmutation of the being) and by getting new habits we empower our roots, believes and needs, this way we are able to access a part of us that motivates us to exercise respect (click here to read about respect).

Many people have transmitted that everything comes from within and it is really as simple as that. When we want to be respected it is very important that we know how to respect, from the heart. But, how do we know if we are respecting or not, if we don’t know our own personal boundaries and others’ (click here to reflect on respect)? Here self knowledge, self confidence, respect and transparent communication have an important role, since only our own selves are able to know what we really want, like and need, and when that is aligned to respect and constructivity, and that way is communicated, it is really from the heart.

Following these steps we can be more assertive when setting our own personal boudaries from the heart:

  1. Empowering beliefs: we have beliefs that leads us to a lack of self respect. For example “if we say “NO” we stay alone” or “saying always “YES” is necessary for being a good person”. These are beliefs, when we open up totally without setting any boundaries we hurt ourselves and set an example to everyone around us, that’s why it is very important to observe the reason why we’re not building what we desire (click here to read about empowering beliefs).
  2. Inner connection, our desire: getting in touch with who we really are helps us design our lives and build the boundaries necessary for our development. If we want a job where we can have a flexible schedule we can find it, so we must send our CV to the companies that offer this benefit or create our own business (this would be a limit that helps us build what we want). REMEMBER THAT WHAT WE WANT FROM HEART IS ALWAYS CONNECTED TO TRANSPARENCY, RESPECT AND CONSTRUCTIVITY (click here to read about recognizing what is from the heart).
  3. Clear Boundaries: when we decide what we want in our personal, professional or loving lives, we can set clear boundaries that bring the results that we want. These boundaries must be aligned to the heart, that is, being detached and understanding the other’s freedom of being, so that we can build assertively.
  4. Comunication and application: to conclude the process it is important that we communicate our reality to the parties involved and apply what we desire. If we desire a relationship full of fidelity, loyalt, respect and freedom of being who we are, we must act coherently with that desire, work on ourselves what we want so we can offer it too.

This is an important cycle to connect in a more loving level to the world, making a habit of it we feel that our relationships transform themselves and get more peaceful.

After two years of working at an office, I realized that my desire is being with people and help them to be the best version of themselves and having time during the day to take care of myself, the boundary I set over time was “working where I can help people and take care of myself”. That, totall, changes my life. What about you? Have you ever set a boundary that changes your life?

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Parents: 6 steps to have an assertive relationship with our children

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For relationships to be constructive, they need investment of time and commitment from people involved in it, regardless of purpose or nature. Parents, siblings, uncles, grandparent, grandchildren, cousins, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mates, clients, companies, etc., can improve our life by observing the way we relate to everyone and everything and assessing the constructivity of our interactions (click here to read about constructive relationships).

When we put ourselves in people’s shoes we can have a wider and more objective perspective of what’s happening, since we can go beyond the titles that we have and often lead us to act from what we think that tag represent, but we are more than that. When we put ourselves in our parent’s shoes, understanding that they do their best they can from their point of view, that they have taught to us how to live in this world through their experience, and that their emotions and fears drive the way they interact with us, we are more aware of the power we have of being better human beings by working hard on our own selves. We don’t need to try to change people, feeling good about our own evolution, and personal work, is enough for everyone around us to recognize new things that may help them transforming their own selves.

We know that as children we have he opportunity to create harmony with our parents (click here to read about conscious children) and it is important that, as parents that we are, or want to be, we also assume the responsibility for acts that are really constructive for the relationship with our children. Here we have 6 steps to expand our awareness as parents for having a more assertive relationship with our kids:

  1. Understand that the children belong to the world and that they need an example of consciousness, self-sufficiency, contribution and respect at home so they can be their own selves and integrate that example into their life to build a world of integrity.
  2. Create an environment where there is transparent expression and full presence (moments where there is only time and space for family communication).
  3. Know and understand yourself (emotionally, sentimental, physically and mentally) to constantly evolve and be able to guide your children along this constructive path.
  4. Be coherent and seek the clearest possible way of explaining to children what is not clear for them.
  5. Stimulate a child’s creativity and enrich it through new knowledge and experiences.
  6. Teach through example the importance of clarity and focus on what they want and the discipline to act assertively.

Being parents is the opportunity to grow in love, to relate to another generation to enrich our own experience, to build the best possible way for that legacy to evolve and touch more hearts. To be a parent is to plant the best seed, to water it, to care for it, and to let it bloom.

Let’s thank our parents for the beautiful work they’ve done with us. Let’s allow us to flourish and to be more conscious, responsible and constructive people, and take this construction to our children.

Love,
Ángel

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Conscious Children: 6 actions to harmonize our home

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We’re all children, sometimes we create bonds with new people in our lives who welcome us as family, others live the experience with our blood family, at the end we’re all children and being a child is to find a way of integrate to our parents through respect and love. Now that we know how to exercise respect (click here to read the text about respect) we can understand better what we can do as children every day.

Our parents share their experience and show us different ways of living. The fact of having them in our lives doesn’t mean we have to be like them but that we can learn from them and teach them (click here to read the text about differences). Family is a structure full of diversity in which, when applying acceptance and respect (click here to read the text about conscious respect), we are able to enrich our points of view to integrate them into our experience.

Let’s see some useful actions to harmonize family life by being more conscious children:

  1. Absorb the best from around avoiding judgement.
  2. Take resposibility for our lives, avoiding blame.
  3. Colaborate with harmony and maintenance of home.
  4. Establish and respect space and boundaries (click here to read the text about boundaries).
  5. Be open to communication.
  6. Thank for being in Family.

In our home we can, in a more relaxed way, learn to live by pleasure, with no obligation. When we empower ourselves of home we discover the importance of teamwork. As children we must understand that we are all different and in order to work on family challenges it’s important that we learn to communicate. Usually, parents give their best from their experience, although in the eyes of some it seems the opposite. Neither the children, nor the parents have manuals, for this reason it’s important to create a healthy space for communication in which the points of view can be expressed in an environment of acceptance and respect.

I decide to be an active part of the harmony and maintenance of my own home right here and right now. What about you?

Love,
Ángel

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Respectful Connection: 5 steps to exercise respect

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To build every relationship it is very important to exercise RESPECT, with ourselves and others, for it is a constructive value. When we respect ourselves, and set our boundaries, we create a clear channel of communication with the world (click here to read about transparency). And if in doing so we add the intention of repecting the other’s boundaries we will be building a solid foundation for each relationship.

RESPECTING our own boundaries, and others’, is to understand that we’re all different and that’s a part of the construction of who we are, and the place we live in, and be willing to interact by absorbing the most appropriate of each situation, avoiding attacking anyone. What we’ve considered as negative or positive, at some point, may switch sides according to our experiences, what is a real fact is that, no matter the side they’re at, experiences are part of our lives and our development. So everybody deserves our respect, the same we give to someone who teaches us something.

The next 5 steps helps us to exercise respect:

  1. To respect ourselves and set our personal boundaries coherent and assertively (click here to read about setting boudaries).
  2. To respect others’ boundaries.
  3. To avoid giving opinions that haven’t been requested.
  4. To obeserve the way we express ourselves about others and transform it into constructive one.
  5. To check the constructivity of what we are about to express before doing it.

Following these steps we transform the way we realete to the world, which, in turn, brings us new perspectives and possibilities. RESPECT OTHERS the way YOU want to be RESPECTED.

Love,
Ángel

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Do We Really Act With Respect?

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When we pay attention, we perceive that is necessary to construct coherence when it comes to respect, since, the word itself, has been used in a very shallow way that, usually, favors ourselves according to our personal belief. So, do we really act with respect?

The word respect comes from the latin respectus that means attentions, consideration, but its social meaning has been touched, mainly, by fear. When our behaviour has been acquired without being questioned, there is the tendency to assume that we respect because we try to please people (by fear of the conflict, punishment, loneliness, etc.) and/or we develop mecanisms of manipulation to get what we want, and we exercise them with so mastery that we don’t even realize that we are being little considered to others, and to ourselves.

From this perspective, it is important that we connect respect to responsibility, which leads ourselves to recognize and accept the consequences of our actions. When we decide to know ourselves better (click here to buy the eBook 7 Levels for Personal Empowerment), we discover our ability to channel our reactios into actions that construct through knowledge integrated to our experience and to accept and integrate our talents, and the absence of them, in a constructive way. This process allows us to become conscious about the fact that everything we feel, think, say and do, has an impact and that, when we assume our responsability for our actions, we become more respectful to every new decision we take with attention and knowledge.

The following questions are very useful to identify if we are really acting with respect, and can lead us to transform the way we express ourselves in order to connect in a more coherent way with our desire of constructing peace from each one of our decisions:

  1. Do we express our point of view as an experience to share (wihtout the need of imposing it)?
  2. Do we nurture thoughts of constructivity about ourselves and everything around us? (click here to read the text about reprogramming our thoughts)
  3. Do we talk about experiences and points of view to transmit and integrate?
  4. Do we know what we want and communicate that in the most constructive way possible (with coherent and applicable arguments)?
  5. Do we nurture feelings that make us feel connected to humanity and the world?
  6. Do we keep the promises we make?
  7. Do we accept other as they are and construct along with them, generating an appropriate flux of giving and receiving?
  8. Do we set our boundaries, communicate them and respect the limits of everyone and everything around us? (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)

After asking ourselves these 8 questions, we can see that the “YES” answers tell us where our construction of respect and responsibility is strengthened, and “NO” answers show us where we can focus our attention, from this moment on, to further strengthen our expression. We construct our destiny with every decision we make here and now, it’s up to us using the available resources in the more constructive and integral way possible.

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Relationships: 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships

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It is very important to work on our self-relationship (click here to read the text about transforming our self relationship), in order to understand who we really are (click here to read the text about self-knowledge) and be ready to relate to the world in a more assertive way. This includes to detach from destructive relationships, even if it is because of our or other’s intentions, and building new constructive relationships for our lives.

Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons (click here to read the text about empowering habits)..

Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.

There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.

  1. In the relationship the both of us support each other?
  2. Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
  3. Is there freedom for being who we really are?
  4. Is there honesty and transparency?
  5. Is there dialog without manipulation?
  6. Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
  7. The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?

If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)..

When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts). So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .

Let’s be independent, dependency always causes undesireble emotional situations (click here to read the text about emotions and feelings).

Love,
Ángel

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What do we Blame For, if we are Responsible?

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One of the main motives by which we blame others for what happen, besides the intention of destroying, is ignoring that the responsibility is totally ours, we decide every step we take, whether impulsive and unconsciously, or active and consciously.

If we are in a certain place, with certain peopla, living certain experiences, is because we’ve decided it that way. Some times we’ve got to think that there were any other option, but, the reality is that we don’t perceive the possibilities when we are focused on something and want to get it anyway, but “THE END DOESN’T JUSTIFY THE MEANS” respect (click here to read the text about respect), transparency and coherence (click here to read the text about coherence) must be the main ingredients of each one of our decisions, if we really want to live in a society that constructs itself through integrity and from our differences (click here to read the text about constructing peace through consiousness).

Blaming someone for what happens to us is a way of ignoring something we need to learn about ourselves and judging others, these habits destruct our relationships with ourselves and with the world around us, so, for this reason, it’s necessary to transform our reactions into constructive actions, in a conscious way. Let’s see some actions that can be useful for this purpose:

  1. Before blaming, let’s think about the decisions which have led us to the present moment: from a haircut, to buying a house, is necessary to understand the motive of every step we’ve taken, what motivates the action, what we think, feel and say about the situation and what we can learn from it.
  2. Let’s focus on talking about what we’ve done and what we could do differently: by talking about our own process we get to listen to ourselves and to assess, in an objective way, what could lead ourselves to manifest a different result, really knowing our talents and recognizing that which we don’t have ability for, in order to join to people that strengthen and enhance what we already are.
  3. Let’s question the purpose that has guided us, to act the way he’ve acted, and transform it if we feel that is being desrespectful, liar and incoherent to our own nature: many purposes in our lives have been created to satisfy necessities, of others or our own, that keep ourselves away from who we are. Understanding better what we do from ou hearts we get to align our feelings, thoughts, words and actions to reconnect to ourselves and act in the most approppriate way for the context we’ve decided to experience.

Let’s remember that we are totally responsible for what we experience in our lives, that our decisions construct our path and that the more conscious we are about the peace we want to construct, the easier it is to construct it in every area of our lives (click here to read the text about constructing peace).

Love,
Ángel

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Constructing Peace

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How can we think that peace is an external agreement? This is a question to reflect about the fact of blaming the government for the situations that we live in our country. The question is: How can we demand peace if we live with internal conflicts because of our lack of personal coherence and self-knowledge? (Click here to read the article about transmutation of the word corruption).

So that we can really construct peace (absence of conflicts), we need to make an internal agreement to learn to live with ourselves as we are, learning to respect ourselves and thus respect all around us. This is a new learning process, because by the collective tendency to fanaticism (whether emotional or rational) has been easier to relate to the world according to what each of us considers good or bad, for convenience, without taking into consideration what we need to learn about ourselves in the reality we experience.

Here I share some points that I have been working on in recent years, and that have worked for me to harmonize internal conflicts and be able to express my own truth in an integral way:

  1. TRANSPARENCY: Learning to be transparent requires speaking and answering with the truth, this allows us to be where we really want to and learn with each of our experiences with fewer conflicts. Some people may not agree with the fact that we want to do things differently, but the way they take it is their own responsibility, depends on their own beliefs (click here to read the article about beliefs transformation) and needs (click here to read the article about not so necessary needs), and can lead to distance from others because we learn to give ourselves what we need. Thus we begin to value the truth of others, ask for it and receive it, understanding that things are not always as they’re supposed to (click here to read about justice in relationships).

  2. RESPECT: As we become more transparent, by practicing the truth, the level of respect for ourselves, and for everything and everyone around, increases (click here to read the article on respect), we need to establish certain boundaries and learn to respect the boundaries of others (click here to read the article about boundaries), as well as we respect ours.

  3. ACTING COHERENTLY: To construct peace, it is very important that we learn to express ourselves in a harmonious and coherent way, that with our words, gestures and actions we always have the intention to construct, to empower others, to show them that we can do everything in an integral way, and that acting this way creates an environment of integrity and sustainable development. For this, it is necessary that we recognize our talents and apply them to everything we do, because that is exactly what brings authenticity in unity (click here to know and/or buy the book 7 Levels for Personal Empowerment).

I have concentrated in these three aspects lately, it has been an effective way to connect to people and the planet, sometimes they show me what I can improve and I integrate it because I’ve learned to perceive my own incoherence. I choose better the words I use, I try different tones and ways to express the same and I see which has a more harmonious and constructive effect in each situation, sometimes it is a matter of feeling the moment, but always from expanding the perspective through knowledge.

Love,
Ángel

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