Tag Archives: transparency

Special Message For Future and Present Parents

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The way we decide to educate our children, directly impacts our home, our family, our neighborhood, our city, our country and our planet, so, in order to choose more consciously, let’s answer this question: How do we want our planet to be? If the answer is that we want a world of peace, transparency, respect and coherence, this text serves to contribute to this construction.

We all have something in common, we are all children (click here to read about being more conscious children to harmonize our home), and we have learned to be the most appropriate children for the family we grew up in, or the most inappropriate, depending of the current belief system. From my own experience I can say that, during my growth, many times I agreed, and many others disagreed, with what I perceived and what my family transmitted to me, I got to distance myself from them to feel free until I felt ready to integrate myself again with a more integral vision of myself on the planet where I am, and thanks to that my family relationships have been transformed. And it is from this experience that I transmit this special message to the people who already have children or who want to have them.

As children we are programmed to observe and learn from what surrounds us in order to adapt to the place where we were born, sometimes we perceive incoherence and, when we don’t receive answers about the reasons why they allow us, or forbid us, to do certain things, we decided to experiment on our own, for better understanding what is behind the decision of the people around us. Here, I explain some points that I consider essential to educate more conscious children through example and coherence (click here to read about conscious parents):

  1. RESPECTFUL RELATIONSHIPS: For our children to learn to feel themselves worth it, and to relate in a respectful and authentic way, they need to perceive us being authentic, establishing priorities that construct what we want in life and respecting everyone and everything around us (click here to read about respect and click here to read about boundaries). Let’s focus more on our personal construction and how to channel it to impact constructively and avoid positive or negative judgment of what others think, feel, do or say.

  2. TRANSPARENT COMMUNICATION: Let’s perceive how many lies (including white ones) we say per day and work to avoid them, when we transparently communicate who we are and what we want, in a coherent and respectful way, we build an environment in which truth is a habit and our children also perceive it (click here to read about transparency).
  3. COHERENCE: This is the most important point, because we only achieve coherence when we align feeling, thought, word and action. It is a process of self-observation that requires learning about us to act more consciously (click here to read about our coherence).

Working on our own coherence allows us to build the best example for our children and for all people who love and admire us. Let’s be conscious of the impact we cause and assume responsibility for being, at all times, the best example we can, an example that doesn’t even need to be explained.

Love,
Ángel

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Deciding by Conviction

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In this last week, I’ve been present in situations in which I’ve perceived that we need to connect with what we are, and how we are, in the current moment, and understand it as a personal result of our own decisions. What would happen if at this moment appears someone who knows our deepest desires and offers us the perfect idea to make them come true? Would we accept anyway, or would we evaluate if the idea is aligned to our values, principles and heart (click here to read about connecting to our hearts)? Would we reflect on the Real benefit that brings to the environment, or we convince ourselves, with our own mind, that, if it makes me happy makes the world happy?

We are at a time when we have much more information available about what we need and, therefore, we can decide more consciously (click here to read about constructing consciously). It is also essential that we feel ourselves, because, within, we can find answers that only we are able to feel inside, that nobody else can perceive. Let’s think about a moment when we had to decide about something and, thinking about accepting it, everything felt chaotic within, our body shouted “NOOO” and our mind and desires shouted “YEEEEEES”; this is our inside information and it is necessary that we consider it and integrate it, coherently, with external information, to decide accordingly (click here to read about coherence).

We can choose to make the appropriate decision for us within the environment we’re in, respecting our limits and the limits of others, respecting the environment and the laws of the place we live in. Remember that EVERYTHING, WHAT WE FEEL, THINK, SAY, AND DO, HAS AN INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL IMPACT, so, are we willing to make decisions that, constructively and sustainably, impact ourselves and everything around us?

Everything in life requires a construction, what works for some doesn’t work for others, that is why it is very important that we learn through our own experience. We can do it by applying what we learn from others, or by integrating the information we receive into what already works for ourselves. Let’s ask ourselves this: In the long term, what people tell us to do has a sustainable development and a positive impact on us, our family, society and the planet? To get to this answer we would need to know, transparently and integrally, the life of the person who applies it, and we don’t have that information, so, what if we begin by accepting who we are and where we are, recognizing what we have done in our own lives that has worked out and transform what is not into learning to create our own way of doing things (click here to read about transparency)?

This reflection comes from my feeling of unity, of what I live and what I perceive. I am convinced that by being more conscious and coherent, from within, we are able to express awareness and coherence in the planet we live in. We can choose, I choose to decide in a constructive, sustainable and coherent way for a more human society. By internalizing what we receive, we find the answers we need.

Love,
Ángel

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Life and Death: Another Perspective

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The definition of death is the end of life, but the definition of life, among others, is the existence after death. Independent of the belief that we have about life and death, it is our existence that keeps us alive, what we have transmitted to our parents, children, friends, companions, etc.

One day talking to a friend we came to the conclusion that his wife was still with him and his children, she had sown love, attention, respect and presence, and all this continues to bear fruit in who they are today, so she is still alive, she exists in their hearts and minds.

It is our decision what we want to build in our lives and transmit to others, as it can be something that people continue to transmit as destructive (what goes against life, respect, transparency, peace), it can also be constructive (what is in favor of life, respect, transparency, peace). When we want to transmit something that construct ourselves as humanity we can follow these actions:

  1. IMPROVING OUR COMMUNICATION: Listening better, silencing the mind, receiving information without judging it in order to be able to integrate it and respond in a coherent way with what we have listened to (if there really is something we can say that is appropriate), learning to use words and gestures we use to express ourselves better, being clear in the message we want to transmit, opening our mind in order to establish a clearer communication that encourages transparency. Remember that, for there to be transparency, we need to learn to listen and construct from it, because when people perceive ourselves as inflexible and authoritarian the dialogue goes to the side of the lie, whether to “avoid” conflicts (which can later be worse than they would be at the moment) or to get what we want (click here to read about transparency).

  2. RESPECTING AND ACCEPTING: The fact that something is appropriate for us doesn’t mean that it is for everyone. When we really know and accept what we feel, think, say and do, we learn that true respect is understanding that we all have the right to be different, and that It doesn’t make us better or worse, and we understand that it’s necessary to accept differences as a way to enrich human constructions. Assuming responsibility (click here to read about responsibility) for everything that depends on us (feelings, thoughts, words and actions) is the first step to build a more conscious humanity, we constantly influence (consciously or unconsciously) everything around us (click here to readarticle about respect).

  3. TRANSFORMING: To obtain different results it is necessary to transform what already exists in a creative way, to enhance what is useful at this moment to build peace (click here to read about building peace). Being aware that we are part of humanity and that we need to assume our responsibility as unique in the whole, we manage to build together, integrating better the available points of view (click here to read about building through consciousness).

Each seed that we sow has the potential to germinate, let’s be more aware of it and sow what we want to harvest, since in that way we are more focused on living, on existing.

Love,
Ángel

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Reflections on Relationships: Special Edition

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There is a very common issue when there is lack of self-knowledge. injustice, both in professional and in personal life. In the workplace is presented above all in the recognition from the personal perspective of every person, since what is perceived is the inequality of remuneration in relation to the effort of work, and what we call “bootlicking” in the USA. In personal life it can happen in our family, couple or friendships, it is also the perception that what we do is not enough for people, who increasingly demand more of ourselves and don’t recognize our “effort” (I put the word effort in quotation marks because that is what we do when we try to seek external approval, which is not necessary when we begin to guide ourselves through internal approval – click here to read the full article on Internal Approval in 3 steps).

Connected to the concept of injustice, generally, there is power over others. At work, in some cases, people who hold higher positions are people who use their personal power to manipulate everyone and everything around them, and that is one of the reasons to get to that position (besides the power they have due to knowledge and experience they may have), obviously if our desire is to exercise our personal power over ourselves we somehow don’t fit into a position that requires doing that, right? In other types of relationships we find people who want to have control over others and don’t let them be themselves (take care, those people may be ourselves), here we find grandparents, parents, children, brothers, couples, friends, who want everything done its own way and, when this is not done, they use fear as a manipulation tool to gain control.

Have we felt identified with any of these situations? If the answer is “YES”, let’s continue reading this special edition about reflections, so we can find an assertive way to get out of this situation and create new opportunities in our life based on personal decisions made by conviction (click here to read the article on decide by conviction).

WORKPLACE

How can we act in a more assertive way when facing situations we consider unfair in our workplace? The main issue in this situation is that we understand that it is our decision to be where we are, the reasons may be fears or convictions, but we are always the ones who decide to be where we are, and we usually have something to learn from there.

I’ve heard many people complaining about the injustice of people who hold important positions doing less than them but I have also noticed that many of those people who complain seem to work a lot, because sometimes they’re just not in the area which they have talent for, so, doing the same as the others require much more time and effort. Has this happened to you? We can easily perceive it when we do something that we don’t like, for example, I don’t like cooking alone, and when I do it I spend more time cooking something than the person who likes it, and also doesn’t end up as delicious, is like something is missing. This is what happens, we need to know ourselves better to work on something we have talent for and we can flow along with, that prevents us from perceiving the situation of the ascension of someone, who apparently works less, as an injustice.

Now, if after broadening our perspective, we still perceive that there is injustice, it is time to look for a place to work that is more compatible with our principles. It is important that we are sure about what we want to be able to set the boundaries within to look for the appropriate job in a company compatible with ourselves (click here to read the article about setting boundaries). We need to trust enough in ourselves to be able to accept what we deserve (click here to read about what we deserve), as well as understand our needs in all aspects of our lives, which can often be simpler than they seem and open possibilities for us to work in areas that would fit in a reality of extreme needs not so necessary (click here to read the article on identification of needs).

Here we have some perspectives that can contribute to our decision making regarding our work life:

  1. Do we feel that we have to work hard to achieve small things? Perceiving the moments in our own lives in which we feel that we do what we like and it allows us to flow, we realize that this is when we forget the time and energy we are dedicating to it. So, if we do something that doesn’t allow us to flow, that tires us and makes us feel that we have to make an effort to do it, we need to evaluate other possibilities to monetize what we do from our integrated personal talents. What is it that we find easy to do, and w]that we like doing, that contributes to the construction of a more integral humanity, and how can we monetize that in order to live where we are?

  2. Are the material needs we have really necessary? Many times we create in our reality needs that keep us prisoners to something that we don’t like in our work environment, when we perceive that we need less than what we thought, we are able to advance in our personal life, because we build with more calm and satisfaction our material life through our own talents.

In my 7 years of working life, I have learned that I can do everything that I set out to do, but that sometimes requires doing things that are not aligned with my values ​​and principles, so I’ve decided that I prefer to flow along with what I do more easily, that is why I write and assist people in their own processes, so I feel that I’m more consistent to myself and that I can connect more genuinely with everyone and everything around me. I have time for myself and for the things and people that are a priority in my life. Today I’m totally sure about the fact that I don’t need everything I wanted, and I appreciate what comes into my life to build what I really want from the heart, which is manifested in my present. What you do allows you to be in peace in every area of your life?

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

We can live in injustice in any kind of relationship, especially when we are unfair to ourselves (we don’t respect our principles, our tastes, our time and we prioritize satisfying others’) or when, due to fear of being alone, or being rejected, we create a character that is not necessary (whatever our nature, we can find compatible people to relate with).

There’s a lot of abuse of power and injustice in relationships, be it sexism or the idea that one of the parties must take control of the relationship, and the previous options only build relationships based on fear that end up in a routine, because the spontaneity and the transparency in the interactions are completely lost. If we need to assume or delegate power in any kind of relationship we should review our lack of acceptance, because, when we fully accept ourselves, we perceive the importance of personal empowerment (click here to read about personal empowerment), each one of us is unique and when we manage to integrate our personal power with that of other people we build solid foundation based on truth and transparency, a solid way to construct in a sustainable way (click here to read the article on constructive relationships).

We often go into relationships based on emotions that lead us to react, or to “act impulsively”, for this reason it is important to take it slow to get to know people and understand how they fit into our lives or if they are just present for teaching us something about ourselves that we haven’t perceived, and that we need to work on, in order to understand the situations we manifest in our lives, what happens to us (click here to read about knowledge).

Here are some perspectives that can contribute to our decision-making regarding our relationships:

  1. Do we feel that we don’t receive what we give? It is very common that we look for what we think we need on the outside, the thing is that outside we only find what we are inside. If people lie to us, let’s think to whom we lie (including our own selves), if people betray us, let’s ask ourselves who we have betrayed, if people don’t keep what they say, to whom we haven’t kept our word? We are used to prioritize some people and give them special treatment, and those people can show us, more easily, our actions and reactions with those we don’t consider a priority, the responsibility for what we feel, think and express is ours, we need to learn to decide with more awareness (click here to read about coherence).

  2. Do we induce the people we relate with to do what we want? We often create in our reality needs that keep us imprisoned to the idea of ​​power, so it is possible that we are attracting insecure people who are willing to seek our approval, by pleasing ourselves in everything we want (we must take special care with this in family relationships and when we raise children, because these attitudes can compromise their healthy development in the world). Using our power over others is to affirm that we’re not good enough to connect to people freely and allow them to give back what we give, because we perceive, consciously or unconsciously, that we usually give incoherence and lack of acceptance (click here to read about forgiveness).

For a long time I compared myself to other people and complained about my situation, I wanted people to know what I liked so they would please me in everything, but I realized that, despite having everything I thought I wanted, I wasn’t satisfied with anything, so I decided to work on myself by applying universal principles to my daily life, that assisted me in knowing myself better and understanding that only by increasing my personal power, by assuming responsibility for what I feel, think and express in a conscious way, I really feel more and more connected to myself and, consequently, calmer (click here to buy the eBook 7 Levels for Personal Empowerment). What do you do that allows you to be in peace?

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Parents: 6 steps to have an assertive relationship with our children

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For relationships to be constructive, they need investment of time and commitment from people involved in it, regardless of purpose or nature. Parents, siblings, uncles, grandparent, grandchildren, cousins, friends, colleagues, teachers, students, mates, clients, companies, etc., can improve our life by observing the way we relate to everyone and everything and assessing the constructivity of our interactions (click here to read about constructive relationships).

When we put ourselves in people’s shoes we can have a wider and more objective perspective of what’s happening, since we can go beyond the titles that we have and often lead us to act from what we think that tag represent, but we are more than that. When we put ourselves in our parent’s shoes, understanding that they do their best they can from their point of view, that they have taught to us how to live in this world through their experience, and that their emotions and fears drive the way they interact with us, we are more aware of the power we have of being better human beings by working hard on our own selves. We don’t need to try to change people, feeling good about our own evolution, and personal work, is enough for everyone around us to recognize new things that may help them transforming their own selves.

We know that as children we have he opportunity to create harmony with our parents (click here to read about conscious children) and it is important that, as parents that we are, or want to be, we also assume the responsibility for acts that are really constructive for the relationship with our children. Here we have 6 steps to expand our awareness as parents for having a more assertive relationship with our kids:

  1. Understand that the children belong to the world and that they need an example of consciousness, self-sufficiency, contribution and respect at home so they can be their own selves and integrate that example into their life to build a world of integrity.
  2. Create an environment where there is transparent expression and full presence (moments where there is only time and space for family communication).
  3. Know and understand yourself (emotionally, sentimental, physically and mentally) to constantly evolve and be able to guide your children along this constructive path.
  4. Be coherent and seek the clearest possible way of explaining to children what is not clear for them.
  5. Stimulate a child’s creativity and enrich it through new knowledge and experiences.
  6. Teach through example the importance of clarity and focus on what they want and the discipline to act assertively.

Being parents is the opportunity to grow in love, to relate to another generation to enrich our own experience, to build the best possible way for that legacy to evolve and touch more hearts. To be a parent is to plant the best seed, to water it, to care for it, and to let it bloom.

Let’s thank our parents for the beautiful work they’ve done with us. Let’s allow us to flourish and to be more conscious, responsible and constructive people, and take this construction to our children.

Love,
Ángel

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Constructive Relationships: 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships

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It is very important to work on our self-relationship (click here to read the text about transforming our self relationship), in order to understand who we really are (click here to read the text about self-knowledge) and be ready to relate to the world in a more assertive way. This includes to detach from destructive relationships, even if it is because of our or other’s intentions, and building new constructive relationships for our lives.

Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons (click here to read the text about empowering habits)..

Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.

There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.

  1. In the relationship the both of us support each other?
  2. Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
  3. Is there freedom for being who we really are?
  4. Is there honesty and transparency?
  5. Is there dialog without manipulation?
  6. Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
  7. The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?

If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want (click here to read the text about setting boundaries)..

When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts). So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .

Let’s be independent, dependency always causes undesireble emotional situations (click here to read the text about emotions and feelings).

Love,
Ángel

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Discovering Transparency: 3 steps to exercise it

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If we want to live a life of transparency, it’s necessary that we learn to construct it and teach people we realete to, through our example, the impact that comes along with choosing this path in an active and conscious way in our own experience.

Although it’s common to use our word as something worthless to get what we want (from controlling our environment ti satisfy others’ desires, things that seem to happen but we don’t really know the truth about it) it doesn’t mean that is approppriate to construct what we desire from our hearts (transparency, coherence, peace, safety and integrity). So, are we acting with the transparency we want to exist in our world? (click here to read the article about transmutation of the word corruption)

Since our present decisions are the ones which create our fate (click here to read the text about deciding by conviction), it’s moment of deciding the steps to take in order to construct the fate of peace we want from now on. Let’s see 3 steps to exercise and strengthen the habit of transparency:

  1. Assuming the responsability for our actions: it’s possible that at some point in our lives we’ve acted in a disrespectful and lying way in order to follow the model of getting what we want no matter how, so, for exercising transparency it’s essential to assume everything we have done at some moment and reflect about its utility to construct what we expect from the world. When we are responsible for our decisions, we have a wider perspective about what needs to be transformed in this moment. For example, if we are in a relationship because of the fear of being alone, but we no longer feel connected to the person, we can integrate our fear, by understanding and transforming it into courage to transmit to the other person the reality about the wy we feel, in an approppriate way, and transforming the relationship, through respect, into a friendship (click here to read the text We broke up, what now?)
  2. Better knowing people before envolving them in our lives: through emotions we enter relationships quickly without being conscious about the authenticity, coherence and affinity between people and us. Really knowing ouselves (click here to read the text about connecting ourselves to our hearts) we are sure about what is really necessary in our lives to construct with purpose (click here to read the text about not so necessary needs) and through athenticity we connect to people with defined purposes (click here to read the text about the purpose of relationships) communicating, in a respectful way, what we really feel.
  3. Perceiving our feelings, thoughts, words and actions: during the day different feelings and thoughts emerge, and we need to understand them to transform them and channel them into the construction of our transparency, thus, through our words and actions, we express them the most approppriate way according to our reality in the context of the place we’re in, with respect, coherence and integrity.

Exercising transparency is not about telling everyone about the way we feel or what we think about others, situations or what’s around us, but transforming our reactive expression into active, through the consciousness of expressing our truth in a respectful way when we communicate, thus, constructing a communication which purpose is constructing, from diversity, a society of integrity.

Love,
Ángel

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