One of the main motives by which we blame others for what happen, besides the intention of destroying, is ignoring that the responsibility is totally ours, we decide every step we take, whether impulsive and unconsciously, or active and consciously.
If we are in a certain place, with certain peopla, living certain experiences, is because we’ve decided it that way. Some times we’ve got to think that there were any other option, but, the reality is that we don’t perceive the possibilities when we are focused on something and want to get it anyway, but “THE END DOESN’T JUSTIFY THE MEANS” respect (click here to read the text about respect), transparency and coherence (click here to read the text about coherence) must be the main ingredients of each one of our decisions, if we really want to live in a society that constructs itself through integrity and from our differences (click here to read the text about constructing peace through consiousness).
Blaming someone for what happens to us is a way of ignoring something we need to learn about ourselves and judging others, these habits destruct our relationships with ourselves and with the world around us, so, for this reason, it’s necessary to transform our reactions into constructive actions, in a conscious way. Let’s see some actions that can be useful for this purpose:
- Before blaming, let’s think about the decisions which have led us to the present moment: from a haircut, to buying a house, is necessary to understand the motive of every step we’ve taken, what motivates the action, what we think, feel and say about the situation and what we can learn from it.
- Let’s focus on talking about what we’ve done and what we could do differently: by talking about our own process we get to listen to ourselves and to assess, in an objective way, what could lead ourselves to manifest a different result, really knowing our talents and recognizing that which we don’t have ability for, in order to join to people that strengthen and enhance what we already are.
- Let’s question the purpose that has guided us, to act the way he’ve acted, and transform it if we feel that is being desrespectful, liar and incoherent to our own nature: many purposes in our lives have been created to satisfy necessities, of others or our own, that keep ourselves away from who we are. Understanding better what we do from ou hearts we get to align our feelings, thoughts, words and actions to reconnect to ourselves and act in the most approppriate way for the context we’ve decided to experience.
Let’s remember that we are totally responsible for what we experience in our lives, that our decisions construct our path and that the more conscious we are about the peace we want to construct, the easier it is to construct it in every area of our lives (click here to read the text about constructing peace).